Sunday, August 21, 2011
Liz is always on my mind, although I don't dwell on thoughts of her, my heart is ever near heaven.
So, I just want to say thanks God! I really needed that. I got to see her, got to hug her and talk to her, laugh with her... and all the time knowing it was a dream, but having those needs fulfilled for this momma is a real blessing!
I love you Liz and miss you, thanks for "visiting" with me for a while last night!
Monday, August 15, 2011
In the posting of "Journals of the Heart" by Brenda Craig, today's word that really spoke to me is the following: It is a prophetic word from God.
Not only do I behold you but My thoughts are ever on you (Psalms 33:13-15). Do not in any way be fearful of this prospect. Sometimes your thinking can be so wrong in this area. Often you think the thoughts you have about yourself are the same as Mine. This is only true if all your thoughts about yourself are thoughts of love, goodness, kindness and mercy…full of mercy grace and believe you are walking in a future filled with hope (Jeremiah 31:17).I have mentioned before that I suffer with the malady of low self esteem. A week ago Jeff and I attended a new church here in our area called The Potter's House. It is a very small non- denominational church that Jeff had driven by a few times and mentioned he would like to check it out. I was a bit hesitant since I have certain preferences in music and typically small churches tend to do a "country music" style of worship and I am not a fan. (Sorry if I have offended any one!) We all have our preferences. Needless to say I felt that we did need to try this tiny church.
We did a week ago and found several people there that we know. Now, for those of you that know me personally this won't be a surprise since I seem to know MANY people! We figured with the amount of people in attendance we know about 1/3 of the attendees. We ended up enjoying the service. Then a friend that attends there asked if we had lunch plans. We decided to go out to a local restaurant and not only did our friend go , the pastor, a visiting pastor and the evangelist that began meetings that morning joined us! What a great time of getting to know folks and also fellow shipping!
We decided to go back to the evening service. At the end of the service there was an offer to pray for those that need healing and several went forward, including me! I have had migraine headaches for 20 years, nearly every day. I was prayed for and have seen an amazing difference in the migraines! They have occurred less frequently and are not as bad. It has truly given me encouragement. I fully expect them to be gone completely soon!
At the end of the prayer he also began to speak words that could have only been from God. I never said anything to this man about my low self esteem or thoughts in my heart. He began to tell me that I need to pray this prayer everyday:
Help me to see myself as You see me.
A Godly woman
A Godly wife
A Godly mother
A Godly friend
Let me draw my dignity from the things of my eternity
Let my security be found in the purity of my heart
and devotion to You!!
After the things I read this morning, and also some of the scriptures I have read over this past week, I truly believe God is trying to change my heart about the way I think about myself. The lies I have believed that I don't have anything worth offering to God, let alone anyone else. Or any other degrading things need to be gone from my heart and mind.
I am not quite sure why I felt I needed to share this since it is so very personal other than the fact that there just may be someone reading this that needs to hear it, to pray the prayer written above, to have it begin to change your heart and life just as it is beginning to change mine!
What we all need to remember is that God has given us the abilities that we have, the opportunities as well and He has BIG plans for us! Let's begin to change our thoughts and speak positive things into our life!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
I have come to the place in my life that I simply do not know where to go next. The thoughts of wondering if I should quit, ring quite loud in my head. Lifting these issues to the Lord in prayer. Then waiting. I can tell you that after all of the years since I began writing my story, I still believe that I am being obedient to what God put on my heart way back in July of 2000.
Eleven years after the task was set before me, I once again asked God if I should simply stop writing since it appears I am not getting as far as I hoped I would. I was sitting with my accountability friend and was discussing this possibility of quitting. We were sitting at my dining room table deep in conversation. Suddenly my phone rings. I feel some disdain at being interrupted. I look at the caller ID and it appears that it is a “sales” type call so I do not answer and let it go to voicemail.
A moment later a voice comes on and leaves a message. The message the man left was that he and his wife were reading a devotional that I wrote several years ago. It was actually the very first thing that I wrote and sold! (To be honest, it is the only thing that I have made money on. Everything else that I have written has been given to a particular ministry, and has had no monetary benefits.) Anyway, he went on to say that what I had written was very good, and that it spoke to he and his wife. He left his name, and address along with the words encouraging me to continue writing!
If I ever questioned whether God still speaks in an audible voice, I now know He does!
As Christians we often question God about our lives, for direction, for answers to prayers that we have prayed and so on. I am among those. I do believe that we all want to do things that will be right, that will bring Glory to God in some way. We don’t enjoy making mistakes, at least I don’t! I want things to be right, and correct. I hate making mistakes, and find it hugely embarrassing. Yet, I know that while I still have breath in my body, I will make mistakes.
I have written before that I worry about disappointing God. I am sure that I have out of both innocence and guilt. I will on occasion do something that I want to do without considering whether it is a good thing or not. I imagine that if you are reading this, you are probably among the majority as I am. If you are among the minority, I ask that you pray for me.
My point? To show you and myself that God is always listening, always working to prepare us for the task that He has set before us. He will equip us to do what He asks us to do. Yep, He will and He does!