Monday, February 18, 2008

Unshakeable Faith

Wow, the Our Circle of Friends Women's Conference was amazing! I was so blessed to have the opportunity to attend. Thank you OCF women for all of your hard work! My sister and I attended and were blessed and ministered to. Carol Kent spoke right to my heart in so many matters that I have been dealing with lately. I struggle with fear. Mostly the fear of what others will think of something that I do. I know I have shared my insecurities before, but to me they are very real. Carol said something about fear and faith cannot dwell together. I have a hard time with that because I believe I have faith, but then that stupid fear seems to overtake it to the point that I cannot see what God is doing. I have come so far over the last 26 years that Jeff and I have been married. I used to wake up at night so overcome with fear that I couldn't breathe. Now, I am no longer consumed by fear, just annoyed by it. It tries to creep into any little crevass that it can.
Lisa T. asked me to write a devotional for the conference this past weekend. She asked me to do this last December. I had it in the front of my mind for weeks, but was so worried what "people would think" that I postponed it far to long. Jeff and I talked about it, and I wrote it and finally sent it to Lisa last Saturday (a week ago). A bit later than it should have been (by about two months) so, because of my procrastination and fear, only a few people were able to read it. I have included at the end of my blog (Unshakeable Faith). I hope maybe it will speak something to you.

I have another prayer request for all of you as well. On Saturday my nephew, Joshua was deployed to Iraq for six months. He is the young man that I asked you all to pray for last fall as he and his wife Rose were in grief as they lost a child to a stillbirth. Rose has MPD (see earlier blog in October for info) and they have been through the ringer so to say as they have gone through so much. Josh works as a civilian for the government and has been sent to Iraq to work on something to keep our soldiers safe. So please pray for him, for Rose and for my sister and her family as they trust God to keep Josh safe. Pray also that God gives Josh wisdom in the job that he has been sent to do. Thanks for praying!

Unshakeable Faith

In my life my faith has changed in many ways. As a child it was of course childlike, I just accepted it because God and the Word said I should. I never questioned if it was something that existed, or something that you had to conjure up by trust. It was simply and irrevocably there. The scripture about having faith the size of a mustard seed (Matthew 17:20) always was a favorite to me. I figured that if that was all I needed I was going to be just fine because I had a lot more faith than that. As a teenager, I began to question my faith. I had many disappointments, but decided as long as I was going to church and heard a good message, I was ok. Then when I attend youth camp I realized that yes, I had faith, but I lacked zeal. I would get all fired up for that week and determined that when I went home that I would not let that lackadaisical attitude creep in. That lasted at least two weeks, then, as I got back in that teenage rut, I would again fall prey to the same old way of living.

As I matured into a college student attending a Christian college, I just knew that while I was there, God was going to do something in me. I didn’t realize that I needed to be an active participant. I would sit back and watch other classmates and wonder where their faith was, or how their faith was so different than mine. I was so determined that I was going to find the desires of my heart at that place. As I watched others around me I could see so many people that were serving the Lord with vigor, and in the very same room or office I would see people that were only there because it was necessary. What kind of a person was I? Again I was one of those people that had started out so excited to be at a place where people really wanted to be, where they were serving God. I soon realized that most of those people were much the same as I was. A lot of them were “acting” out the part, while another group was trying desperately to make a name for them selves. My whole world was rocked to see that. I realized that there were a lot of people including myself that didn’t see their faith as something real but, just as something to say they believed.

Then there was a group of people that were rarely seen you only heard about them. They were the people that were in the background, they were the people that were the prayer warriors the people not seeking anything other than God Himself. Quietly serving God, and serving everyone that was there within that ministry through prayer. People that were making a difference, they had a peace because they were called to be there to serve the Lord with all their heart. They had FAITH.

As I look at my life now, I see all of the stages that I have gone through and just wonder what God is going to be able to do with me? Do I really want to serve God, and what is my motive? Do I want to be seen by those around me, just acting a certain way or do I want to be one of those that are hidden in the background, one that is called and SERVING, with a faith that is real. Am I being a person that is trying to live faith, or am I a person that is trying to shake and test other’s faith?

When my faith needs stimulated or shaken, God tends to do that several ways. It is typically through trials for me. I have been shaken down to my core at times, and my faith has gone from something the size of a mustard seed, to the size of the rock of Gibraltar. As I see God moving in me, and changing me, my faith grows. No, I don’t like the trials. I don’t like being forced do anything, but sometimes God has to force me to look at what I have become. I am lazy, lethargic, and sedentary. My faith isn’t shaking, it doesn’t exist. I want my faith to move. I want it to shake me as it grows. I want it to be real, to know it’s alive.

Where is your faith? How would you describe it? Is it something that is real? Is it moving and growing, or has it turned into sand, simply blowing away each time the wind blows? Think about it? Do you have unshakeable faith, where it stands as a rock not to be blown away, or is your faith like the sand dunes always being blown around, never fully formed?

Romans 11:1-40

Blessings to you all!

Please excuse any typo's my spell check is not working!


Sue K. said...

i love this devotional, it so speaks to me right now. I really needed it! Thank you

Becki said...

Thank you Sue!