Between the weeks

Merry New Year...or Happy Christmas... or something like that! It is the week between the holidays and it always seems a little strange. I want Christmas to not be over already, and I am NOT ready to see another year end!

Last night my youngest son, Christopher, and a couple of friends left for Florida. Today my oldest son, Micah, will leave to go back home to Virginia. Jordan, my middle son will be in town for a while yet, although he is considering going to Virginia to visit his "big brother" for a few days.

I do have one of my most favorite people visiting me though and that helps to not be disappointed that my guys are leaving. I have my Emily here to visit! She arrived on Saturday evening, and is here until this Sunday!! We have spent some time together, but I have had to work on Monday and Tuesday. Today I have the day off, actually, I have the rest of the year off!!! Jeff and I throughly enjoying her visit.

How was your Christmas? Mine was great! I am using my best Christmas gift right now. Jeff and the boys got me a Macbook for Christmas and I am LOVING IT!!!

One of the not so great things that happened over the holidays is that my dad passed away and we had to have his memorial service on December 26. His ashes will be buried today. My brother wants my sister and I to go, but I am just wanting this to be over. He died on December 16, and it has taken this long because of out of town family, and then the weather. I am finding it difficult to have yet another thing to do.

Soon, it will be just Jeff and I here again. It will be way to quiet, but it will be back to normal for the two of us. We have finally gotten used to the boys coming and going. It is still sad to see them go, but I can watch them go with out balling like a baby. Jeff and I have our routines, and then they get "blown out of the water" when the family is here. I love it, but it's a tough adjustment too. Jeff is back to work... another short week. It's hard to get much done during this time of year. Hopefully business will pick up after the first of the year.

I have a thousand things I would like to get done, but will limit myself to the things that MUST be done. I hope all of you will have a happy and healthy 2010...sounds strange to day that.

Happy New Year!

Times a tickin...

It's is 11:03 PM only 57 more minutes till Christmas. Just want to tell all of you

Merry Christmas.

May you all have a blessed day as you remember to celebrate the birth of our Savior!

Forging ahead

Good Monday morning. Thanks everyone for the prayers during this time. This time of the year is already stressful for everyone without a death to have to deal with. Believe me when I say I have certainly felt everyone's love and prayers.

I have come to the conclusion that if something does not get done...oh well! My baking is done. I cut that down by half! My gifts are now wrapped...I cut down the amount of gifts by about half. My house is still a mess, but I did get some help from two sons yesterday, and my wonderful hubby let us order Chinese for lunch after church. My brain is still in "fluff mode" and I have to go to work today, so I won't get much done.

I am the one that puts things on my to-do list. I am the one that has high expectations of what should happen, get done, or anything else that is causing the stress. I am NOT going to get upset!!!

I will do the necessities, and be satisfied...right?

Nevertheless, this is the Monday before Christmas and I am in high hopes that this week will be a blessing to one and all. Thanks for your kind words of love and support throughout this past year. Thanks for reading my blog, and for coming back to read my blog. Thanks for being my friends...whether we have met or not. This blog began as a "writing exercise" and has turned into much more than that for me.

The book? It's still being worked on when there is time. The other book... one chapter at a time...

I need to get busy with the necessities now, so I will close. If I do not have a chance to blog again this week, Merry Christmas to everyone! God's blessings and lots of love sent your way.

My Dad

This past week has been a busy one, and difficult. On Saturday morning my dad had a heart attack. He seemed to be doing well and they were going to transfer him back to the nursing home where he has been for nearly a year. At about 4 AM yesterday, my dad passed away. We were a bit surprised but not shocked. His health has been failing for the past three years.

We would appreciate your prayers.

What to do...what to do?

Happy December4th! Yes, be amazed I am actually blogging again.

I figured since I got up at 4:45 I could do something creative. Since my body settled in front of the computer, this is what I came up with after reading the 42 e-mails, the newspaper, blogs, and anything I found that tickled my fancy. I find that getting up so early, makes me really tired! Ha.

I have worked everyday this week. That is very unusual for me as I work very PART TIME. Usually only a couple of times a month. For the next while I will be working more. Yay, I'll have some Christmas money...

I have today off. I am not sure what to do first. I want to go hunting (yes, I do that believe it or not) however, I am not in the mood to freeze my behind off, unless that is a permanent 'offage!'

I have Christmas shopping to do, baking to do, cleaning to do you name it. I just want to do nothing in some ways. Be creative! Yep that is what I want to do, be creative!!! Perhaps write a chapter today, or read a chapter or... take a nap!

November 30

Oh my word! It is November 30 already. I cannot believe that I have not blogged since the 5th. It has been a busy time, but I have also had limited time on the computer due to a rib being out of place. It proved too painful to sit here for any length of time. I am feeling much better now, but have a twinge every once in a while.Thanksgiving came off without a hitch (mostly anyhow) Good food, nice visiting with relatives you do not see often. The boys are back to school/work. Jeff just left for work, and I have things to do around here. Whew. I love having my guys home, I love them dearly...I am still cleaning up the remains of what was left in their wake. You tend to forget just how much mess that a family of five can make. Walk in the door walk to the nearest open spot and DUMP EVERYTHING.

I can finally see my dining room again. Between the piles that the guys brought, and the Christmas decorations it was a disaster. I do have my Christmas decorations up inside and some of them up outside. I got stopped outside for a couple of reasons. I had my small group coming over for a meeting at 6:30 last night, and the inside was still a mess. Plus the new lights I purchased for outside turned out to be for the inside UGH!!!! I did not notice when I bought them that they were for inside use only. BLAH.

So, I will be off to get some outdoor lights today. Then I am off to work tonight. Jeff will have some alone time tonight while I am gone. He will like that and he can surf the internet for homes for sale in Florida without my teasing him.

I will be hosting the final session in GriefShare tomorrow night, so I will be cooking all day tomorrow for the meal we will share before beginning the memory night celebration. Then 1st Wednesday at church on Wednesday night.

Thursday will be my big hunting day! Woot-woot! I have to go get my license today and a deer permit. I hope to get anything this year, be it doe or buck I will be happy... I will be sure to post the outcome.

I will be getting a visit from Em2 around the middle of the month. I am SOOOO excited. She will be staying with me this time, and we can talk till we can no longer form words from exhaustion. My happy thought!!!

On Monday evening the 7th of December I will once again host Surviving The Holidays you can see the post below this one for a short clip. It should be better attended than the first one this year. It has been advertised. I will take posters today to put up around town.

I have things to do around here, so I better get moving. I just wanted to let you know that I am still sitting up and taking nourishment! Perhaps a bit to much nourishment. The diet is back on today!!!

Surviving The Holidays

Today I began to do some baking and preparation for the GriefShare Surviving The Holidays presentation that I will be hosting November 13 at 7PM at NewPointe Community Church. This is an amazing DVD and grief support class offered to people that have lost a loved one.

GriefShare: Surviving the Holidays from Church Initiative on Vimeo.

The holidays can be a very difficult time to get through, even if you have not lost a loved one, but imagine having to go through it with that special person no longer with you. It feels as though you have a hole in your heart that goes from the front of your body to the back and nothing can pass by it without falling through it. Like having a huge leak.

We tend to think that after so long a person should be "over it" and get on with life. Yes, we get on with life, but it feels as though we do it without an appendage. You do the best you can, but it just isn't the same!

Even after nine and a half years, my heart and mind go back to my daughter. Oh how she LOVED the holidays! She would begin listening to Christmas music in September, and she would hang Christmas lights up in her room then too! It is still one of the most difficult things that I have to deal with everyday of my life knowing that my Liz is not here.

Every person that has lost a loved one knows that feeling! The purpose for the Surviving The Holidays evening is to share with those people that it is okay to feel certain ways. It is okay to not do the same things you did when your loved one was alive. The holidays will be different. They will NEVER be the same as they were before! It is okay to say no to some of the invitations you receive. You do not want to hide from everyone and hide from life. You simply have to learn to limit yourself. You also must realize that you need to take care of yourself. You need time to rest. So many well-meaning friends and family will try to keep you so busy that you do not have time to grieve. That is NOT a good things to do. It will end up making things much worse.

This is the tenth Christmas we will celebrate without Liz, and each one I have learned certain things. I realized that first Christmas that I was being selfish. I hosted Christmas at our home for years, yet that first year, just seven months after Liz died, I simply did not have the heart to do Christmas. I was the one that wanted to escape! Then after all of the festivities were over, my boys said that they wanted to have Christmas at our house that next year. I never even considered how they felt about having one of their favorite activities taken away from them along with loosing their sister. My heart nearly broke when I found out.

The following year, and every year since, we have again hosted Christmas. No, it is not the same as it was when she was alive, but for my sons, it needed to be something familiar. It helped them with their grief.

That is just what is on my heart and mind today!

Yet, on that some note: I attended a meeting for Clergy at Aultman Hospital on Tuesday morning. The topic was grief! It was so very good and full of things I already knew, but also things that I did not. The grief offerings by Aultman seem to be very good. I never realized just hom much they offered. That is encouraging to me! Also the woman that was the speaker has designed a game called "Doggone Grief" It is an excellent way to help children deal with the emotions of grief. I am hoping to purchase one as soon as they are on the market. Awesome stuff. Thank you Brenda! So nice meeting several brother and sisters in the Lord!

I just hung up from talking on the phone with son, Jordan. He shared his testimony this morning at Indiana Wesleyan University. It was in a small venue, in the commons area, but nevertheless it was the first time he shared it in a large group. He said it went well. I am so proud of him!

Ummm, the smell of fresh pumpkin bread fresh form the oven is filling the house. I need to get back to my baking.

Blessings to you all!