Thursday, October 4, 2007

Broken Hearts

How does it feel to have a broken heart? We’ve all suffered something in our lives that has affected us in that way. Did you know that God saves all of our tears in a bottle? (Psalms 56:8) I wonder what He does with them. He surely has an entire warehouse full of bottles from me alone. I often hear people say to me that they have suffered, particularly through the death of a loved one, but nothing like what we have suffered. As far as I am concerned, if you suffer, you suffer.
There are so may hurting people in this world, we truly have no idea who some or even most of them are. We may even be a friend to some of them, yet not even be aware of the fact that they are suffering. Who is the person that decides who is suffering the most? What type of measurement do they use? Who in the world said they are the one that knows? Who is the one that decides that they are the only one with the “wisdom” to decide if their problem is worse that someone else’s problem?
Right now my nephew Josh and his wife are in a hospital in the DC area, mourning the loss of their first child. Caleb was delivered this morning after Rose went through 68 hours of induced labor to deliver a still born child at five and a half months gestation. Rose hase a rare form of cancer called MPD (myeloproliferative disorder). Basically what that means is that she has a genetic mutation such that her bone marrow and stem cells produce too many, and perhaps abnormal, blood cells. Technically they group these disorders with blood cancers, but this is really more of a chronic condition rather than acute. Relative to how fast a lot of cancers move, this problem will get worse at a much slower pace. One of the varieties of these MPDs affects the white blood cells and is a chronic form of leukemia which can become full blown acute leukemia.)Do you think that they are suffering from a broken heart? I think we all are in one way or another! Please pray for them!
I heard last night at church that the measurement we need to use is how closely we become "like Christ".(Or something to that affect) We all seem to think that we need to find God’s will for our lives. That somehow what we go through in our life or how badly we have suffered will be the measure of how spiritual we are, Not true! I feel that it’s what we allow God to do in our hearts during the sufferings or problems we experience that shows us how we are “measuring up.” Let me explain: We all have problems, most differ from person to person but, at the moment we may feel that we have suffered far worse that anyone that we know.
When our daughter Liz was murdered in May of 2000, I heard so many people say that even with all of the problems they have had, nothing compared to what our family was going through. That may be true in some ways. They may not have lost a child through a horrible act of violence, but they have struggled through another situation that I may never have to encounter. Did they suffer? You bet they did! Did they feel crushed under the weight of it? At the moment they more than likely felt they would never survive. Have you ever felt that way?
I like to think that I am an "original" there is only one me. I know some of you are thinking "thank the Lord" but really, I am the only me there is sitting right here, right now, writing these words, thinking these thoughts. I hope some day that when people look at me they will see Jesus! Hopefully that day is soon! I may not be measuring up to Christ yet, but that is my goal! Yes, I do hurt, my heart is so full of things, hopes, goals, desires. It feels that when I move forward an inch or two, I get knocked over the edge, and my heart is laboring for the next heart beat. I guess I can say that I have an "irregular heart beat" I never know what to expect, so I never know just what my heart will do...
by Becki
9:26:00 AM

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1 comment:

Sue K. said...

I'm so glad your blogging, now we can keep in touch, Your writing is amazing, you really made me think about things. I agree, we all suffer in different ways, in different levels. But God is merciful, and never gives us more then we can handle. Keep blogging, I enjoy reading yours!!