November 30

Oh my word! It is November 30 already. I cannot believe that I have not blogged since the 5th. It has been a busy time, but I have also had limited time on the computer due to a rib being out of place. It proved too painful to sit here for any length of time. I am feeling much better now, but have a twinge every once in a while.Thanksgiving came off without a hitch (mostly anyhow) Good food, nice visiting with relatives you do not see often. The boys are back to school/work. Jeff just left for work, and I have things to do around here. Whew. I love having my guys home, I love them dearly...I am still cleaning up the remains of what was left in their wake. You tend to forget just how much mess that a family of five can make. Walk in the door walk to the nearest open spot and DUMP EVERYTHING.

I can finally see my dining room again. Between the piles that the guys brought, and the Christmas decorations it was a disaster. I do have my Christmas decorations up inside and some of them up outside. I got stopped outside for a couple of reasons. I had my small group coming over for a meeting at 6:30 last night, and the inside was still a mess. Plus the new lights I purchased for outside turned out to be for the inside UGH!!!! I did not notice when I bought them that they were for inside use only. BLAH.

So, I will be off to get some outdoor lights today. Then I am off to work tonight. Jeff will have some alone time tonight while I am gone. He will like that and he can surf the internet for homes for sale in Florida without my teasing him.

I will be hosting the final session in GriefShare tomorrow night, so I will be cooking all day tomorrow for the meal we will share before beginning the memory night celebration. Then 1st Wednesday at church on Wednesday night.

Thursday will be my big hunting day! Woot-woot! I have to go get my license today and a deer permit. I hope to get anything this year, be it doe or buck I will be happy... I will be sure to post the outcome.

I will be getting a visit from Em2 around the middle of the month. I am SOOOO excited. She will be staying with me this time, and we can talk till we can no longer form words from exhaustion. My happy thought!!!

On Monday evening the 7th of December I will once again host Surviving The Holidays you can see the post below this one for a short clip. It should be better attended than the first one this year. It has been advertised. I will take posters today to put up around town.

I have things to do around here, so I better get moving. I just wanted to let you know that I am still sitting up and taking nourishment! Perhaps a bit to much nourishment. The diet is back on today!!!

Surviving The Holidays

Today I began to do some baking and preparation for the GriefShare Surviving The Holidays presentation that I will be hosting November 13 at 7PM at NewPointe Community Church. This is an amazing DVD and grief support class offered to people that have lost a loved one.

GriefShare: Surviving the Holidays from Church Initiative on Vimeo.

The holidays can be a very difficult time to get through, even if you have not lost a loved one, but imagine having to go through it with that special person no longer with you. It feels as though you have a hole in your heart that goes from the front of your body to the back and nothing can pass by it without falling through it. Like having a huge leak.

We tend to think that after so long a person should be "over it" and get on with life. Yes, we get on with life, but it feels as though we do it without an appendage. You do the best you can, but it just isn't the same!

Even after nine and a half years, my heart and mind go back to my daughter. Oh how she LOVED the holidays! She would begin listening to Christmas music in September, and she would hang Christmas lights up in her room then too! It is still one of the most difficult things that I have to deal with everyday of my life knowing that my Liz is not here.

Every person that has lost a loved one knows that feeling! The purpose for the Surviving The Holidays evening is to share with those people that it is okay to feel certain ways. It is okay to not do the same things you did when your loved one was alive. The holidays will be different. They will NEVER be the same as they were before! It is okay to say no to some of the invitations you receive. You do not want to hide from everyone and hide from life. You simply have to learn to limit yourself. You also must realize that you need to take care of yourself. You need time to rest. So many well-meaning friends and family will try to keep you so busy that you do not have time to grieve. That is NOT a good things to do. It will end up making things much worse.

This is the tenth Christmas we will celebrate without Liz, and each one I have learned certain things. I realized that first Christmas that I was being selfish. I hosted Christmas at our home for years, yet that first year, just seven months after Liz died, I simply did not have the heart to do Christmas. I was the one that wanted to escape! Then after all of the festivities were over, my boys said that they wanted to have Christmas at our house that next year. I never even considered how they felt about having one of their favorite activities taken away from them along with loosing their sister. My heart nearly broke when I found out.

The following year, and every year since, we have again hosted Christmas. No, it is not the same as it was when she was alive, but for my sons, it needed to be something familiar. It helped them with their grief.

That is just what is on my heart and mind today!

Yet, on that some note: I attended a meeting for Clergy at Aultman Hospital on Tuesday morning. The topic was grief! It was so very good and full of things I already knew, but also things that I did not. The grief offerings by Aultman seem to be very good. I never realized just hom much they offered. That is encouraging to me! Also the woman that was the speaker has designed a game called "Doggone Grief" It is an excellent way to help children deal with the emotions of grief. I am hoping to purchase one as soon as they are on the market. Awesome stuff. Thank you Brenda! So nice meeting several brother and sisters in the Lord!

I just hung up from talking on the phone with son, Jordan. He shared his testimony this morning at Indiana Wesleyan University. It was in a small venue, in the commons area, but nevertheless it was the first time he shared it in a large group. He said it went well. I am so proud of him!

Ummm, the smell of fresh pumpkin bread fresh form the oven is filling the house. I need to get back to my baking.

Blessings to you all!