Sunday, October 28, 2007


Married Life Live was a huge hit last night! The food Made by "Queen Jean" was fabulous, and it was a joy to work under her leadership! Jeff had a lot of fun too. He used to help me when I did stuff like that. Kudos to you Jean! We watched Jordan V's baptism this morning. I say watched because we couldn't hear! The sound wasn't turned on in the atrium! I had to hold back the tears!

I saw another friends (Lisa's) daughter baptised too! Jillian I really did enjoy your testimony! (They had the sound fixed second service) What a blessing it is when we get the opportunity to see children baptised. It just boosts your faith.

I have enjoyed working the Group Life table this month. I have seen people that I don't normally get the opportunity to see. (I think I mentioned this in a previous blog) It's still fun!

Well I did get the hair cut (about 8 inches cut off) and highlights. My two Mary friends say it looks "sassy" I really like it and Jeff seems to approve. He said he likes this color better than the red it was. It was actually light golden brown (so says the box). I was hoping for 10 years younger - I think I got at least 7 , but unfortunately the 50 pounds lighter didn't happen. Only the weight of the hair (felt like at least 20). It's fun to do something different, I think women need to kick it up a notch every once in a while. I get bored. I don't seem to have much control over somethings in my life my weight being one of them but by gosh by golly, I can do the hair thing!

I have ribs baking in the oven, can't wait for dinner. Ummmm it smells sooooo good. Chips and salsa were good, but if that's all you had for lunch it leaves something to be desired!!!

I had an interesting time after church today. I went out to get in the van to come home at 12:40 p.m. today only to find my left rear tire almost flat! I'm no rocket scientist, but I do know not to drive on a flat. I called "Super Jeffy" to come to my rescue. He was sleeping (his Sunday nap a little early) he went home from early service. Anyway, he ended up coming back to the church to get me. I figured I'd be without a vehicle for a day or two. He checked the tire (I found the culprit...a screw stuck in the tire) he decided that it was drivable. HE drove my van home, and I followed in his car. Sorry Jessica for going so slow down 39! So the van is home, but no compressor. It's loaned out to a friend. Jeff went to pick it up a little while ago. I assume that I'll have to take it over to get patched tomorrow. Thank God for husbands!!!!

It seems I am not the only one going through a time of testing. I was talking with a friend today and found out that she is having a time of it too. I certainly hope and pray that whatever it is that God wants us to learn, we learn it early in the testing. It really hurts to have to go over it and over it ... I am finding that I have a "fear of man" issue. I am always so concerned about what people will think if I do something. I don't want to be on a pedestal, I just don't want to look like a dork or a fool. I certainly don't understand why things happen the way they do. I just know that while we are going through (yes all the way through) that God will be right there holding or hand, or in some cases carrying us. Lord, let me learn quickly and well! Love ya friend! We need to be true to our calling, just not overdoing it. I'm praying to learn all of that for myself.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Tis the season?

I can tell it's coming up on the holiday season. My A-D-D is kicking in. There are so many things that I would love to do, that I tend to get in over my head when it comes to fun projects! Today I purchased material to make Christmas wall hangings, I already have material to make throw pillow covers for my living room furniture for Fall and Christmas. I also have purchased things from my Stampin Up party that I intend to do. I will be going to an all night cropping party to scrapbook next weekend. I want to start baking and freezing Christmas goodies. I have apples that I need to do. I am planning a Christmas party for our employees that I am going to cater myself (I think). I told my sister -in-law that I would gladly help with an 80th.Birthday party for my mother-in-law on the weekend of the 16th. and in between those things I will be going to Virginia.

So what is the general consensus? Yep just like I thought. I have A-D-D!

I would like to know when I think I am going to get all of this done and continue with my writing. I have to many irons in the fire I guess, but I love to do all of this stuff. I need a life coach! Someone to help me get my brain together.

I would also like to know why I have a tendency to open my mouth and say stupid things? I was not to happy with Jeff this morning at 5:20 a.m. when he decided to crawl out of bed. I was even less happy when at 5:45 he let the dog outside to bark (and pee). At 6:09 when he came upstairs and very NICELY said "Honey, you need to get up, don't forget you have to take me to work this morning" I very NASTILY groused back at him! What a great way to set the tone for the day! I was not happy and I let him know it. I wish I was like superman and could inhale heartily and suck back in the events that had just happened. Sort of like we used to do when we were kids when we started to do something, if it wasn't right we'd say "do-over". And then proceed to do it over. I guess you'd think I'd learn to engage our brain before my mouth by my age.

Maybe one day I'll grow up. At least a little.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007


Is this an amazing photo? I just stepped out the front door and snapped it! Wow! It looks like the sky is on fire. Just thought I'd share this with you. I finally figured out how to
put a picture on here. I am technically challenged!

What an amazing day it has been. Sometimes we need to do something to help someone else, to receive the blessing that God has for us. I went to NPCC today and helped Jean make about 75 apple dumplings, and will go back again tomorrow to make that many more. It made me feel useful, and I had a lot of fun. Jean has her hands full catering the Married Life Live event at the church on Saturday. Right now they are sold out of tickets. Jean is preparing food to feed about 534 people! It is amazing to me what she is able to accomplish. She's been making dumplings for about two weeks and freezing them. I am SURE all the food will be wonderful! I've been wanting to go out and help her do stuff, but selfishly I haven't because I wanted to do my own thing.

When I got home after helping Jean and visiting a few friends at the church, I had a message from Denise from our small group. Her grandma died and they needed some help with the food for after the funeral. I am thrilled to be able to help. I really miss doing things like that. I did it for many years at our old church, and for the last four years I haven't done much of that type of thing. There will be a small group so not much to prepare for, only about 20 people. I'll make a little extra just in case!

Jordan called home last night. Jordan and I at IWU's nursing dedication Sept. '07
He was really excited about something that had happened after his mid-term evaluation for his nursing Clinicals. He said that his Clinicals advisor had something to give him after class. He was a little unnerved at that point because he had no idea what was happening. When he went in she said she had something to give him. It was a letter that a woman had sent to the hospital where he is doing Clinicals in Huntington. IN. The letter was from his very first patient. This woman was so encouraging to Jordan when he met her and worked with her. She kept telling him what a great job he was doing and he was going to be a terrific nurse. Everything he did for her just kept getting that type of reaction. It ended up that she wrote to the hospital and told them about Jordan, and added a letter that she wanted them to make sure Jordan received. His advisor was so excited, and told him that she had never received anything like that since she began teaching. She asked his permission to copy this letter so she could share it with other classes, and with other professors! How exciting! She told Jordan that if he ever questioned if he had chosen the right vocation, this should let him know he was on the right path!
That's my boy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Stampin Up, how much fun was that!

O.k. girls, here's your name in my blog: Suzanne, Ruth, Hope, Bethany, Mary, Carol, Jean, Terry, Jodie, Lauren, Erica, Betty and of course Shawn and myself. Needless to say it was really full in my dining room last night! We had lots of fun using our creative juices! I have been a scrap-booker for about eight years now, but this is only the second time I have done stamping. I am still a little slow (thanks Betty and Mary for helping me) but I had a blast. Despite the Yellow Jackets that thought it would be fun to buzz around the light above the table. I know I looked like a "goof" running around the table trying to swat them without anyone getting stung. Poor Mary has had enough stings this Summer/Fall. She decided to see how Yellow Jackets taste on Sunday. Actually, it was in her cup at church on Sunday, Owwwww! I didn't want to have anyone get a taste of ours, they have been doused in bug spray, and still the little critters continue!

I was going to blog last night, but I was to tired to even attempt it. So hopefully today's will do. It was really fun to have everyone in, and prompted me to clean things and move furniture and clean the cobwebs that popped up over night. I was going to hang decorations from them but some of them were hanging so low I was afraid someone would get hurt! Isn't is amazing how those things just appear? I did clean them out of the corners before my boys came home (honest) but somehow they were there in abundance again. I think the critters know winter is coming....Ugh!

It's a blustery day out there today, I don't really feel like going to the basement to clean although I may not have a choice if it's getting flooded. I have not checked yet and it's almost 9:30 a.m. so my day may be planned for me already. I know what is down there on the floor, the cardboard boxes with glassware and baskets, what a mess that will be. I just need to use those wonderful Rubbermaid containers (I should own stock in the company by now) and prevent a lot of anguish on my part. Jeff wouldn't have to say anything to me about what might be happening to the stuff on the floor, it would be well protected in plastic... O.k. I have to go peek down the steps, be right back (I hope).

Oh THANK YOU JESUS! No flood (at this point)

My sister, Suzanne, just called and asked me to pray for both of my nephews. Josh is in San Diego, California. He flew in there yesterday for work, and of course was told he may have to be evacuated because of the fires. Please pray for him, and for his safety. He and his wife Rose, just lost their baby two weeks ago.(Caleb was still born at five and a half months) And my other nephew, Sean, is in Costa Rica as part of his schooling. He called home last night and told his folks that he may have Dengue fever. The group of kids he went with over the weekend to another part of Costa Rica have been suffering from the "fever" since they got back on Sunday. Please pray for that group of kids and of course my nephew Sean.

I am looking forward to helping "Queen Jean" tomorrow at NPCC. WE will be making more apple dumplings for Married Life Live on Saturday. I know that there are over 500 that will be there, whether they are attending or working. That's a lot of apple dumplings, not to mention the other food which I understand is pork tenderloin, potatoes, and veggies, and salad. Jeff and I will be helping to dish things up for the servers. It should be fun. I used to do stuff like that out at Camp Buckeye, and at our old church. We had a small congregation so we had "covered dish" dinners frequently. I do miss that. With NPCC it's virtually IMPOSSIBLE to have a church "carry-in". Can you imagine how many tables of food we'd have if all the families would participate?????? Wow!

I think I'm going to sport a new look! I'm going to cut these stringy tresses, and highlight them! Who knows... I can control the hair, not the weight. I think that I'm looking a little old for such long hair, it's down to the middle of my back. While I love long hair, I'm not sure how complimentary it is on me. I wish I could find a hair style that would make me look 10 years younger, and 50 pounds lighter. Big job huh? It'll be fun to see people's expression with the change ... ha!

I know this is not anything very deep, my mind won't go there today. It's trying to get through the aches and pains brought on by the weather front coming through. Ohhhh the pain of it all! I'm moving a little slower today, and may not get a lot accomplished. I need to work on my writing. I am just not sure what part to work on. Pray! I better go check the basement again, the wind has shifted.

Sunday, October 21, 2007


The babies are gone, and it's just us empty nesters again. I 'm so glad we can stand each other. The boys pulled out at 3 p.m. and since that time we have accomplished: washing windows inside and out, killing about 10 yellow jackets (in the house) and covering up the holes on the outside of the house to trap the nasty little critters in their nests. We are going to have small group tonight, so this will be a shorter than usual post.

It was soooo wonderful to see the boys for three whole days. They were able to spend time with some of their friends and visit with some family. It's so hard to get everything done in just three days. They had a tough time leaving. I had a tough time with them leaving. We loaded the car, Chris checked the oil, Jeff checked the tires, the windshield washer fluid was topped off, and so were my tears. I can breathe a little easier this time. Not like when we took them to school the end of August.It took me three days before I was even able to catch a deep breath. We prayed for them and then they were off. They will be about half way by now it's about 5:30 p.m.

Micah called at about 1:30. He was just on his way home from church. He gets there about 6:30 Sunday mornings, to prepare for the three services they have. He's excited about meeting a young woman tomorrow that will audition for the worship team. She is going to play the violin, but is also able to play guitar and keyboard. She is the daughter of one of the other pastors there at Cornerstone. He told me that he bought tickets for he and I to go up in the Washington Monument while I am visiting. I am really looking forward to going. While I'm there I'll have opportunity to visit with more of the staff, and some of Micah's friends too.

I am having a few people in tomorrow for a "Stamping Up" party. If I didn't invite you please don't be offended. I have limited space and will probably have another one in the Spring. Let me know if you're interested! I been fixing some goodies for tomorrow, but will take a break to go to Small Group. Time's a tickin so I'm gonna grab some dinner and change my clothes. Off to Small group. If you wonder what Small Group is all about check out the and look at the Small Group tab. It's a blast.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

One visit to go

Well my mommy heart is singing and a little bit sad, but I am so glad I got to see my Micah. He left about 3:15 today, so he may be about half way back to Leesburg. I'm happy because I got to see him for about 43 hours, but I'm sad because before he left we had a little talk and he was kinda down. He said it's just hard going through this stage, moving more out, and going back to Virginia where he is alone. He's pretty lonely. He's dated only a couple of girls in the last four years, and he has nothing serious on the horizon (my words there). His heart has been broken, and he has made some tough choices in the past, which has led to pretty much nothing in the way of relationships for now.

Of course the "Mommy" wants to fix it, and find the woman for him and help him to live happily ever after, but I know that is not healthy. For either of us really. He has only been in Leesburg for four and a half months. I see huge growth in him and in his occupation (Worship Leader) his maturity level in both areas is definitely visible. I heard a recording of last Sunday's music, and I am thrilled to hear how his voice is much stronger, and even. It just blesses me to know that he is in such a position and that God is using him to be a blessing to many.

Please pray for all three of my boys as they are working towards their future. Jordan too has had his heart broken once again, he told me the other day that he's lost a lot of weight. He's 6'1" and weighs only 135 pounds. (I give my right thigh to weigh that). He is one of the perfectionist type personality. He expects everything he does to be exact, and right on, and he puts so much stress on himself. He is in his second year of nursing school, and has recently started having his clinicals. Today he had his third patient but I have yet to talk to him to see how it went. His first patient was terrific and very complimentary to him and about him. His second patient was in a lot of pain and pretty much inconsolable. That had him bothered because he wanted to make her feel better and he couldn't.

Chris is doing ok. Classes are tougher that he anticipated, but he is spending a lot of time with a tutor and with his mentor and seems to be benefiting from that. He is taking two math classes this semester, Calculus and Discrete Mathematics. He had pretty much no study habits things just came pretty easily to him in High School. He never really applied himself, yet he was still in National Honor Society. He was satisfied with doing well but didn't push himself to excel.
He went on his first real date a couple of weeks ago. He went out with his room mate's fiance's best friend. It was one of those things that he did because his room mate asked him to (from my understanding) he said the girl was really pretty but didn't believe the way we do. So, it was a one time thing. I suggested he pray for her, so who knows what the future might bring...

Less than 48 hours till I see my IWU boys! I'm pretty happy on that note. I still want to be needed as a mom, so it's gonna be nice to have them "need me" to fix some favorites, and just hug on them (when they let me) I won't totally suffocate them, I'll let them come up for air (now and then)! It's gonna be a quick visit, but I'm excited!

I booked my flight to Virginia this morning. I am looking forward to that trip. It will be a working trip because I will be sharing our story with the women's ministry. It is a blessing to be able to do that, but it takes much prayer to prepare and time to recover afterward. It is very draining and emotional, but God has given us an amazing story so as we are asked to share, we never turn down the opportunity. Please pray for me! Pray for Jeff too as he will be home ALONE for four days. That will be something he hasn't done for many years.

Well this is getting VERY long, so I think it's jammie time! The Indians game starts in 20 minutes! Don't want to miss that. GO TRIBE!

Sunday, October 14, 2007

My hearts all a twitter...

The toilets are clean, the floors are scrubbed, furniture polished and beds are ready... my babies are coming... one is halfway home the other two are anxious for Thursday. I'm going whacky just waiting. It gives me time to go through the two new piles of junk mail and general junk I seem to collect at a very rapid pace. I soooo wish I were a very clean very organized person. In my mind that is what I think. I guess I organize in my head, just not in actuality.

I don't want to become an obsessive compulsive (well maybe I do) I just am tired of being a S.H.E. (Sidetracked Home Eexecutive) I read a book about it once, matter of fact if I look through the pile of books in my basement (in one of the two rooms I have yet to conquer) I could probably find it if anyone would like to borrow it. I also have several other books on organizing (i.e.) The 15 Minute Home and Family Organizer by Emilie Barnes. It would take longer than 15 minutes to read, and a whole lot more time collecting dust, than it has helped me since I purchased it last fall... Yep that's me!

Or if any of you are interested I also am the proud owner of the book 12 steps To Becoming A More Organized Woman. by Lane P. Jordan. If I need to walk 12 steps to pick up the book and 12 steps to go sit back down on the couch, I have done twice the work the title claims, to no avail. I am still a direct descendant of the queen of piles (my mom) No matter how I try ,them seem to grow with out any help from me. They just appear behind me... beside me... everywhere.

My husband complains, and I get mad, then I clean with gusto, because I am mad. Then I cool off,... and make more piles. I sure am glad he loves me! I promised him before we got married that I would keep everything cleaned up (after he saw my bedroom for the first time) I was soooo sure it would be possible. I would wear my house dresses and heals and pearl necklaces just like Donna Reed, or Harriet Nelson and I would suddenly be Mrs. Clean because I was happily married and was having babies (at an alarming rate). Then I woke up and smelled the diapers, the garbage, the dog, and took a glance at the piles that were also growing in the laundry room. (I swear you may lose socks, but everything else multiplies). My poor brain just could not understand how things like that happen. So, like everything else, I made a list of what needed done, a wonderful menu for the month, grocery lists with only the necessary items needed to follow the monthly menu, then stuck it on top of the nearest pile. I felt rather smug with all I had created on paper, and went ahead with something I enjoyed (not cleaning) probably cooking or baking. I then lost sight of the list, and well...

I've just woken up out of the stupor I was in thinking about cleaning, and have figured If I plan it right, my house may stay clean for at least 12 hours. Not quite a record, but close. I may wake up to an empty sink, and no piles.
Woo-Hoo. I'm still excited I can't wait to you guessed it see my babies! Only two more hours! Yessssssss.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Cold gray days inspire me...

Cold gray days inspire me to do things inside. Right now I have pumpkin apple streusel cake going into the oven to take with me to the scrap booking/crop day tomorrow.. I am going to bake something else for here at home too. I need to scrub my kitchen floor, polish my hardwood floor in my dining room, scrub the bathroom floors, do a load of laundry, and if I have energy left I'll work in the basement. I plan to read too. I feel totally inspired. I have gotten so much done this week, that it makes me want to get the rest of the stuff done that I have been putting off. I am getting the itch to paint walls too. I think I'll start in the upstairs hallway in a week or two.

I plan on making a phone call or two to see if I can get some more help with my book. I have a couple of names of possible "coaches" for direction and ideas. I really want to get this done as I felt God spoke to my heart seven years ago to do just that. It's all in His timing I know, I can't just sit around and expect a finished manuscript to simply appear. It will take a little more effort on my part. Pray for me please.

I'm still really excited to be seeing my boys this week beginning Sunday night. Then in another week it'll be back to the empty nest. On October 24 my dad will have surgery to remove his bladder as the cancer is pretty bad. I hope he'll be able to get into a good nursing home to recover. I have a feeling that it may be more than just a recovery time though. We'll see. I'm not exactly looking forward to that.

On November 10th. I will be flying to Washington DC to visit with Micah and then to share at Cornerstone's women's group on the 13th. I am looking forward to that. I seem to be getting tested on the forgiveness issue again lately. Not with Matthew V. but with several other things. I hope I'll have a new perspective with which to share.

The oven just beeped so I'm off to bake.... Yippee!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Scrapbooking & family

This next week is going to be a good one. Beginning on Saturday I get to spend the day from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. scrapbooking! Woo-hoo!!
I haven't scrapped since May. I get to spend time with another one of my favorite people... Mary! We laugh, we cry, we eat, and of course do a few creative things in between. I can hardly wait.

The next wonderful thing is my oldest son Micah will be coming home Sunday night. It'll be a quick visit as he has to go back to Virginia on Tuesday, but it's been two months since we've seen him, so I am really excited! He is coming home to get more "stuff" since he is finally moved into his Townhouse. I'll post pics soon.

The next happy thing in my week will arrive on Thursday afternoon.
More of my babies are coming home! Yessssssss! Jordan and Chris will be home for Fall break (the long weekend)It'll be so good to have them home in their own beds, where I can go peek in and watch them snore... ahhhh a full heart!

Hey, I finally had a post with all positive things. Bless God! I am a happy woman.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

More on friends...

I just spent an afternoon visiting with some very special people. I had lunch with Jessica, then went to NPCC and talked to Cindy, Anita, Jane, Todd, Chad, Vern, Mary and Jean. These are people that I used to work with at NPCC. Since quitting my job the end of June I don't get to see them very often and I really miss them, and all that they added to my life! Thanks gang!

I have been going through trial after trial lately and tend to see only what I am going through. On Monday I took my dad to Aultman hospital for the third surgery on his leg since June. I am a little discouraged because of the way he doesn't try to really help himself. After he was out of surgery I went to see him in ICU to make sure all was well, then left. At that point I went to another waiting room there at the hospital to visit with Dwight, and his dad, Jim, (one of my VERY VERY FAVORITE PEOPLE) because Jim's wife, Marie, was having surgery. They recently found out that she had cancer in her colon. They removed a cantaloupe sized tumor from her colon, and also found that it had affected her stomach and small intestine which had to be repaired. What a difference in those two situations! One waiting room was quiet and subdued (where I was) and then the room where all of Marie's family sat (It was packed!) There was life in that room! Even though Marie was in surgery and the prognosis was somewhat grim, the people in that room represented life and Jesus! They all prayed before Marie's surgery with Jim leading the prayer.

While my heart aches for them, and all that they face, I have this feeling that I should feel a little worse for my dad. No he doesn't do anything to help his situation, he doesn't even follow the doctors orders the majority of the time, it made me think about how I feel. I never had a good relationship with my dad. He was never interested in being a dad, never took much responsibility for the family. It was tough because we moved all the time. I personally went to 11 schools and moved 21 times before I was married. I guess that the respect level I have for my dad doesn't compare to what the Word of God says it should be. I need to pray for him, and forgive him for all of the things that happened over the years. It's really hard to understand how I can forgive the man that murdered my daughter, but I have a hard time forgiving my dad. Hmmm.... something to pray about.

Sunday, October 7, 2007


I am so thankful for friends! As I look around when I'm at church, or when I am visiting, I realize just how truly blessed I am! Last night Jeff and I went to visit/help friends Brian and Deb. They have two darling little boys Nathan and Daniel. I have gotten my "fix" for the day after I spend a little time with the "guys". I have now received two full tours of their home down to the laundry chute. These two little guys have helped to heal the broken mommy heart I've been suffering with since we've turned into empty nesters! I read Fox in Sox till I thought my tongue would forever be twisted around my eye teeth!!! I read three other books or at least portions of them too. It was wonderful. We had terrific fellowship, and Jeff and Brian got a lot of trim put up in their basement.
Today while at church, I was able to visit with people that I don't get to see very often. It was WONDERFUL! I do have to chuckle when I think about what Jean V's daughter Jordan had to say today. She and her mom were "manning the table" where the box lunches are being ordered. Above the table it says "Save a cow, eat more chicken" or something like that. Jordan said to her mom "oh mom I'm so glad we can save the cows" (that may not be the exact quote, but close" Anyway, I forget how cute kids can be when they are still innocent. I enjoyed manning the Group Life table a lot, just to get me out there... I only talked to two people about Group Life, but I had a blast visiting. I'll be there next week too, so if you're visiting or attending NewPointe stop by and say hi!
Last weekend we went to Indiana to see our two IWU sons. IT WAS (sniff-sniff) SO GOOD TO SEE MY "BABIES" I know it's hard to refer to my 18 and 20 year-olds as babies, but hey, I call my oldest son (23) a baby too! I guess it just makes me feel needed if I think like that. (warped I know). I'll be going to Virginia to see Micah next month. I am going down to share my testimony at the Cornerstone Chapel's women's ministry on Tuesday November 13. What an awesome privilege that is. I hope I make God proud, and don't embarrass my son!
For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, our family suffered a horrible tragedy in May of 2000. Our daughter (then 17 years old) was abducted along with a friend of hers from a video store at our local mall. Our daughter was murdered, and her friend suffered tragically at the hands of this man as he tried to rape her and then murder her as well. She (the friend) lived, and helped to identify the man. Thank you Jesus!
God in His infinite mercy gave us the gift of forgiveness, and as a result we have been saved from a life of bitterness and hate! I know this was a gift because I am not a naturally forgiving person. I have to stew about it for a while, I tend to get a lot of cleaning done when I am mad or upset. Good for our home, but the forgiveness is good for the soul! Once I get to the point of being ready to forgive, or seek forgiveness, it can be hours or even days. I realize that is NOT the way God wants things to happen. He says "don't let the sun go down on your wrath" (Ephesians 4:26).
In the case of the murder of Liz, when Jeff immediately said to the detective: "I know that our daughter is dead, and we forgive the man that did this" It came as a SHOCK to me to know that Liz was dead, but the forgiveness was instantaneous! And REAL! That is what I will be sharing about in November. It is something so important to me and to our family that if you check out my personal profile you'll see that I am attempting to write a book about it.
Friends, I don't know what we'd do with out them. They are here for us, and hopefully we return the favor and are there for them. I love all of our friends!!! Thanks for allowing God to introduce us!

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Broken Hearts

How does it feel to have a broken heart? We’ve all suffered something in our lives that has affected us in that way. Did you know that God saves all of our tears in a bottle? (Psalms 56:8) I wonder what He does with them. He surely has an entire warehouse full of bottles from me alone. I often hear people say to me that they have suffered, particularly through the death of a loved one, but nothing like what we have suffered. As far as I am concerned, if you suffer, you suffer.
There are so may hurting people in this world, we truly have no idea who some or even most of them are. We may even be a friend to some of them, yet not even be aware of the fact that they are suffering. Who is the person that decides who is suffering the most? What type of measurement do they use? Who in the world said they are the one that knows? Who is the one that decides that they are the only one with the “wisdom” to decide if their problem is worse that someone else’s problem?
Right now my nephew Josh and his wife are in a hospital in the DC area, mourning the loss of their first child. Caleb was delivered this morning after Rose went through 68 hours of induced labor to deliver a still born child at five and a half months gestation. Rose hase a rare form of cancer called MPD (myeloproliferative disorder). Basically what that means is that she has a genetic mutation such that her bone marrow and stem cells produce too many, and perhaps abnormal, blood cells. Technically they group these disorders with blood cancers, but this is really more of a chronic condition rather than acute. Relative to how fast a lot of cancers move, this problem will get worse at a much slower pace. One of the varieties of these MPDs affects the white blood cells and is a chronic form of leukemia which can become full blown acute leukemia.)Do you think that they are suffering from a broken heart? I think we all are in one way or another! Please pray for them!
I heard last night at church that the measurement we need to use is how closely we become "like Christ".(Or something to that affect) We all seem to think that we need to find God’s will for our lives. That somehow what we go through in our life or how badly we have suffered will be the measure of how spiritual we are, Not true! I feel that it’s what we allow God to do in our hearts during the sufferings or problems we experience that shows us how we are “measuring up.” Let me explain: We all have problems, most differ from person to person but, at the moment we may feel that we have suffered far worse that anyone that we know.
When our daughter Liz was murdered in May of 2000, I heard so many people say that even with all of the problems they have had, nothing compared to what our family was going through. That may be true in some ways. They may not have lost a child through a horrible act of violence, but they have struggled through another situation that I may never have to encounter. Did they suffer? You bet they did! Did they feel crushed under the weight of it? At the moment they more than likely felt they would never survive. Have you ever felt that way?
I like to think that I am an "original" there is only one me. I know some of you are thinking "thank the Lord" but really, I am the only me there is sitting right here, right now, writing these words, thinking these thoughts. I hope some day that when people look at me they will see Jesus! Hopefully that day is soon! I may not be measuring up to Christ yet, but that is my goal! Yes, I do hurt, my heart is so full of things, hopes, goals, desires. It feels that when I move forward an inch or two, I get knocked over the edge, and my heart is laboring for the next heart beat. I guess I can say that I have an "irregular heart beat" I never know what to expect, so I never know just what my heart will do...
by Becki
9:26:00 AM

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