The Big Give delivery

We just got back from the homeless shelter in New Phila. Our small group participated in NewPointe's The Big Give project. Our small group decided to purchase personal items such as shampoo, conditioner, razors, shaving cream, soap, tooth paste, toothbrushes, deodorant, combs, and shower caddies along with several other items that are always needed like: toilet tissue, paper towels, gas cards, and we are also planning on doing a cook out sometime this summer. It was a great way to give back to this community through the generosity of the people at NewPointe Community Church. Here are some pictures of when we purchased the items and then while we began to assemble the baskets.
It was pretty neat knowing that we were really helping people. We loaded everything into our van, and took it over. Then we went on a tour after we delivered everything. we ended up with 19 baskets for the men, 11 baskets for the women, 3 buckets for small children/babies, and several other baskets with extras for older kids, and the extras for when they needed to fill in.

Here is a picture of our group members that were able to be there. We had an extra person join our group just for the picture. What a blessing the homeless shelter is for those that are in need. It is run very well, and it is teaching the residents to be responsible for their needs while providing them with a place to stay, and food to eat, until they are able to find a job and place to live.

Thanks NewPointe for the opportunity to do something useful!

A beautiful day in the neighborhood to be challenged

What an absolutely beautiful day it is. Warm, not hot, slight breeze, not windy, low humidity, so we won't melt. Thanks Lord! I think we need days like today to remind us just how good it is to be alive, healthy, able to sit up and take nourishment.

Today at church Dwight's message (see www.Newpointe.org to listen to today's message) we were challenged to harvest. Are we in the fields waiting to harvest, or are we waiting in line for something else? I felt very challenged. He also said that people are waiting (the harvest fields are ready, they are full) people are waiting to hear a message, but not to be preached at with fingers pointed in their faces. People accept being loved, and cared for, not being told how bad they are. That made me start to think. Then Dwight added that his mother's death two weeks ago didn't bring an end to the influences she made here on this earth. The choices she made, the children she had, and the grandchildren as well are still making an impact on this world because of the choices she made while she was alive.
Will I leave a legacy when I die? I hope I will be able to have people on this earth say their lives were changed because of the choices I made. The things I did to influence this world for the Lord. I hope it will be a long time after my death that I will be judged for the things I did while I was alive. Why? Because I want the things I do, the choices I make to be far reaching, to go on for generations and generations. (should the Lord tarry)

I have had a dream in my heart that I believe the Lord put there many years ago. To write this book about our daughter, and to be a part of a ministry that I truly believe God has planted in my heart. I have hidden the desire so far inside my head and my heart that I sometimes forget that God planted it there eight years ago. I only had a glimpse of what the Lord showed me, but it does have to do with harvesting. It has to do with being a laborer in His vineyard. Maybe God is renewing this vision in my heart, and bringing it back to mind because now is the time for this to begin.

Sometimes (at least for me) it is hard to believe that God can use us in a particular way, or even that God is able to use us at all. When He does use us we seem surprised or even shocked. We should always be prepared to be an instrument. The Bible says that we need to Preach the Word ; be prepared in season and out of season. (2 Timothy 4:2a) Am I prepared at all? My prayer is: Use me Lord, at any possible time, in any situation. Help me to be prepared to be an extension of You. Help me to have Your Word in my heart and in my mind that when I need to draw upon it, to bring life to others it will be there. Let my life be pleasing to You, let the things that I do be a reflection of You. Show me that I don't have to wait until I have been equipped to answer the call, that when I step out in faith, You will equip me as I go. Mostly Lord, help me not to be afraid. Afraid of what people will think, or that I will somehow let someone down.

If I don't praise the Lord the rocks and trees will cry out. I want to yell it from the housetops, but because I don't want to make a fool of myself I hold back. Is that how you feel? Maybe God is calling you to answer the call too. Think about it.

A happy mom's heart

I know that I've said it before, but there is just something about having your children under the same roof that makes your feel secure. Micah came home on Sunday evening. He actually met us out at the lake to zip around on our little boat. Jordan was wake boarding, and Chris and Micah took turns driving the boat. Jeff and I watched from the beach. It was a nice day.

Micah will only be home till Tuesday (today) and then he's going back to VA. he has to get back to work. It's been nice as I said before.

We got Jeff a new gas grill for Father's day. Chris picked it up and assembled it last night. It's pretty nice. Can't wait to use it.

Writing is going pretty well. I was editing some things yesterday. I sent one article out to some of you to critique, so please let me know what you think. I may have located another editor too. We'll see. Sometimes it amazes me at how God orchestrates things. I had someone leave a message on one of my many comment spots. I think I have four things where you can do that now... Anyway this person's wife may be willing to give me a hand. I am praying, but I surely want God's perfect will in this.

I spent several hours working on re-writes yesterday. I have cut down one article by almost 800 words. That was really hard, because I liked the story the way it was, but at 3533 words that is just to long for any periodical. So... back to the chopping today. Please be praying.

What I really need is to finish my manuscript. I need a powerful anointing to finish that. I am supposed to have it to one of the publishers in the next 3 weeks....I really need prayer for that one.

I am still gathering information about a women's conference. I think maybe it will be in the fall like October maybe. We'll see. If God wants this to be it will be. I am excited, I just need to meet with the right people, to get the right information. Prayer, prayer and then a little more prayer.

Our small group got together last week and we made up baskets to take to the homeless shelter. I found out yesterday that we have more money available to our group, so look out Dollar Tree here we come! It has been a lot of fun to get this stuff and put it together. It makes you feel like you are doing something worthwhile. I can't wait to deliver all of this stuff. We are going to have a cook out at the shelter with all of the residents too. How fun will that be! The Big Give at NewPointe has been a real powerful motivator for our small group.

I could sit here all day and blog till my hearts content, but I do have other things that must get done. I need to get moving!

Wow

Groan...crack..smack...flop... thud... if you couldn't tell I just did a virtual cartwheel, and it wasn't pretty. Why you ask? I just hit the 30 pound loss mark! Hallelujah. I keep checking to make sure, and yep it's true.
This is something really difficult for me as I have battled weight for years. If not one direction (heavy) then the other (anorexic). I feel good, I'm getting healthier. Who wouldn't with all of the water, fresh veggies, fresh fruit, chicken and turkey that I eat. I can't say I have a ton of energy yet, but I still have thyroid issues. I go back to the doctor soon for that. So, I have to be getting better, it's showing.

I am so relieved that things are once again moving along with the book, and the other writing. I am still not sure who I will get to help me with the final editing, but I am sure God will provide. If anyone has any suggestions I'd be thrilled to hear them. It has been such a long road, but so much has happened, and is continuing. I just need to keep striving for what God has put in my heart, to be obedient to the call, and to make sure that God is the one getting the glory. I am still amazed that this is actually happening, just as the Lord spoke to me 8 years ago. The fact that God can use me to do this is what is most amazing.

Father's Day... I think we are going to the lake, so we can putter around in out little boat, and maybe the boys can ski/wake board. I hope the weather will cooperate. Micah will be coming home Sunday evening, for a very short visit. I'm looking forward to having all my boys home for a couple of days. It should be fun. A little fun in the sun and maybe a picnic. Nothing major, just something Jeff likes to do.

I certainly am writing rather randomly, just jotting down my thoughts. Now you know how it feels to be inside my head... kinda loopy sometimes. Sorry.
I have been reading the usual blogs again, and finally a couple of them have finally updated after a month. It gets kinds tough going there day after day with nothing new. It stifles my creativity. I said to one friend that I feel inspired after I have read all of my usual blogs, and also a few new ones. It seems to hold a sort of general theme at times, and I enjoy seeing that God sometimes speaks the same things to people, just in different ways. Pretty encouraging I'd say. Well the hour is getting late for me almost 10 PM even if the time on the bottom of this post differs. I'm tired, and I need my sleep. I get pretty crabby if I don't get enough. A lot to do tomorrow, so good night.

The long awaited e-mail

I finally received the e-mail that I have been waiting for! Here is a portion of it, I read it last night after I got home from my last GriefShare session for this cycle.

Greetings, Becki:

RE: Writing invitation for Devotions, the daily devotional magazine of Standard Publishing.This is your official invitation to write 7 devotionals for the SUMMER 2010 issue of Devotions. The due date for the assignment would be August 10, 2008, and total payment would be Standard’s rate for all devotional writers.
(You’d have about 6 weeks to write.) You would receive a Work-for-Hire contract (all rights sold to Standard Publishing). Your devotions will appear in print in several formats and also on the Internet at www.standardpub.com.
Please indicate your response, within 3 days, by replying to me with an email that includes your home address and phone number. (And ask questions, too, if you like . . . )
If you agree to accept this assignment, our Administrative Services Department will send you a contract by snail-mail (within 2 weeks). I will also quickly send out the Writer’s Packets so you can get started on the assignment. The Packet will include all the necessary information and Writer’s Guidelines you’ll need. And, of course, it will indicate the Bible passages for the devotionals you will write.

Thank you so much for considering this invitation … and I hope you’ll say “Yes”!

Woo-hoo! Thank you Jesus. I was getting a bit nervous thinking maybe he had changed his mind. I was a bit taken aback when I realized that I was writing for summer of 2010. Wow that seems so weird.
I doesn't really matter when it is published, just the fact that they offered me the opportunity makes it amazing to me.

On to other things... I mentioned that I had my last GriefShare session last night. What an amazing and emotional evening it was. I didn't take a sample of a collage, I felt that each person needed to make what was in their hearts, and not try to make one like mine. That was wisdom from God! They were all very different, and all very special. We then went forward after they were completed and shared them with the group. They introduced us to their loved one, lit a candle to signify their life, and received a rose. It was so moving and emotional. We ALL cried, and grew closer to each other. A few people brought family members with them, and it was awesome to see their reactions, and to watch them work together on the collages. We ate together first, then watched the last session DVD about Heaven, then had a discussion. That part was interesting because someone came in late, and had a lot on his heart. He was pretty confrontational, but God knew what needed to be said and who there needed to say it. I am so proud of those people that spoke from their hearts, and from their experiences. I believe that man left with some things to think about. Thanks so much to all of you that were there.

What a privilege it is to be a part of something like that, that truly helps people on the road to healing.

Today, I get to gather with my small group to purchase things for the homeless shelter. We are participating in NewPointe's Big Give. We were given $400.00 to do something "Big Give" worthy, we had to submit our idea to the "board" for approval. We received our okay last Thursday, I'll go today to pick up the money. After purchasing the items,we will assemble our packages together, then deliver them as a group. We are planning a cookout at the shelter for the residents too on the day we deliver them. It should be fun, and an opportunity to grow together as a group, as well as to be a blessing to those at the shelter.

Serving, it's such a blessing!

Friday again already?

It never ceases to amaze me how fast time passes. Didn't the week just begin? It seems that the more time I have the less that I get accomplished. I have so much that I want to do, I guess I am sort of back to the S.H.E. lifestyle (Sidetracked Home Executive) It is not a disaster area yet, but could easily get there. I simply have no desire to do laundry, clean, or any of the other things that a "good wife" should be doing. My brain is in read/write mode. My brain does not multi-task well. I do lots of things in a half baked manner, rather than a few things unto completion. Anybody else like that?

My dad's surgery went well the other day and he actually got good news. The tumors in his bladder are gone. There is still the pathology report that will give us the full answer, but we can be hopeful. I am amazed once again.
Thanks for the prayers.

Mom's surgery will be in July, and hopefully will be very successful as well. We need to keep praying about this one.

I am still waiting to hear from the Cook Communications people to get the scriptures they want me to use for the devotionals I will be writing for them. I am hoping to get word soon. I check my e-mail about 10 times a day hoping to get an "assignment". I have given myself 30-45 days to complete my manuscript, that was last Thursday, and so far I have not done a thing. I guess that fear thing is trying to keep my from my appointed destiny.
Strang publishers is anxious to receive the entire manuscript. I got an e-mail from Sue last Thursday. I thought if I put a "time limit" on myself it would force me to get busy... maybe I was wrong?

I am still working away the pounds 27 1/2 as of this morning. YEAH! I had a friend say she thinks I should stop after I lose 30. She's worried that I will revert back to the anorexia problems I had 30 years ago. Fat chance! Literally, I am way to far weight wise to even be close to something like that. I appreciate your concern my friend, and I will be careful. I feel so much better about myself, but I have a long way to go before I am even close to what the Dr. said I should be. Why is it that when we look into a mirror we see something so different from what everyone else sees? I know I heard that when men look into a mirror they see more than what is there (like hair), when women look into a mirror they see less than what is there (weight and wrinkles). Weird huh? I thought I was doing great until I saw a recent picture, UGH.

On to other things. Beautiful days. I love summer, I hate winter. Wow, when it decides to be warm , it is really warm, smoldering actually. I won't complain to much, it's better than snow and ice. Temps a little lower would be my preference, but ... The weeds are growing so well in my garden. Jeff was out last night and said that the corn is up, the beans are up, and the weeds are really up, which means I have work to do. I have to get everything prepared and purchased for the last GriefShare of this cycle. We will be making collages for the last evening. Sharing about our loved one, and having fellowship time. It always tough to bring the class to an end, we've all grown close. The up side to all of this is that I see God has truly begun to work healing into the hearts of the participants. I will have a break until September, then I'll be back to the classes. What a blessing it has been to be a part of something where you can actually see people changing. To see the faces of those that began the classes with despair and such sadness on their faces, only to look upon those same faces 13 weeks later and see smiles and hope. I am truly blessed to be a part of that. I am not saying that these folks are totally through grief, they are not, but they are certainly continuing on the path THROUGH grief. No longer stuck in the process. Thanks God for using me and allowing me to be a part of this process. What a privilege.

Chris and I went out to the barn to see the new kittens last night. Tiggs moved her kitties, but I heard them meowing from the other end of the barn, and found them. Oh, my goodness are they cute. Three orange fluffy kittens, and three tabbies about half the size of the orange ones. Two of the tabbies hissed at me when I picked them up, the the others were so sweet. I am allergic to cats so I had to come in and scrub down. I don't know which was worse, the itching from the hay, or the itchy eyes from the cats. They really are cute. I'll try to get pictures to post soon. That brings out cat population up to 9 now. Down from 18 a couple of years ago.

I better get a move on the day is 1/4 gone, and I have a full agenda. Have a fun weekend, stay cool!

Ambushed

Just when you think you can handle things why is it you get ambushed? I was getting ready to go to the funeral for Marie Mason today, and all of a sudden I got zapped with a "bout" of depression. I literally felt like I was in a hole that was so narrow and deep that I could hardly breathe, and now it has turned into a migraine. Needless to say, I did not go to the funeral. Now I feel guilty! I guess in my mind I think that since it has been eight years since Liz's death, that I am well beyond things like that happening. Well, for all of you that have no idea what I am talking about I apologize, for those of you that have been there done that, please pray for me.

I know that I have a huge job ahead of me in re-writing my book for the umpteenth time, and trying to condense it for three different magazines. I am so excited, yet feel overwhelmed. I think that, along with the emotions of a funeral for someone I loved, was just a combination that did not mix.
While I was getting ready to go, (then decided I couldn't) I did have some ideas for the magazines. I just need to get them down on paper. However, I need to recover first. I'm surpised I am even blogging at the moment.

I have to take my dad to the hospital on Wednesday so he can have a surgical procedure done. He has bladder cancer. This will be (I think) the 10th surgery he has had in the last 17 months. Whew. It makes me tired even thinking about spending the entire day waiting again. Unfortunately, my dad thinks the cancer has gotten worse. He really needs to get his heart/life right with God, because we feel his days are numbered, and that isn't good. He will be 78 this month, and for some reason he has gotten through this life on the coattails of a lot of other people. He seems to slide through life without much effort, and somehow, someway he lives through it to see another day. It's pretty hard on my family.

My mom is having health issues too, and will go to a surgeon tomorrow to see what her options are. Getting older is tough on the body. It seems to want to fall apart. My parents are divorced since April of 2000. Just a month before we lost Liz. It was a tough year. Y2K would have been much simpler. I don't like thinking about my parents falling apart. It's painful not only for them, but for me to think about.

As you can see, I am struggling a bit. I need to get beyond this and do what God has put before me. It is not easy being obedient, especially when you don't exactly know where to begin...again.

My editor/friend is leaving for a 5 month internship at a large ministry, so I need to make contact with him before he leaves. He is not planning on taking a computer with him, so that means that I better get myself in gear. He leaves at the end of the week....Lord help!

I am meeting with my sister hoipefully on Wednesday (while we wait at the hospital) to talk about marketing my book, and also to discuss a Women's Seminar I may be starting. While I was at the conference in Colorado, I met several women that have individual speaking ministries, and so we may try to form a group that will travel, and use our testimonies to minister to hurting women! I know there are a lot of ministries doing that, but I do believe we have a unique message to share, so I will attempt to forge on and see if God is truly leading this. Obviously more prayer is needed, on my part and hopefully those of you reading will add this to your prayer list too.

I think with so much on the plate in front of me at the moment, that could be a good part of my struggle right now. It seems when we try to step out in faith and do something that is foreign to us, yet feel that God is leading us to do, we meet with a "few road blocks", and attacks. If God doesn't want me to do this, hey, no problem! That is that much less work than I thought I'd have. Faith, trust, hope, obedience, and let me see, a few other things are floating around in my head right now, things that I need to exercise a bit. It's hard to step out. I am so insecure and have such low self esteem that I question whether God actually wants to use me, or whether I am conjuring these things up in my head.

Speak Lord, I'm trying so hard to hear You! And talk really loud! I can be a little deaf at times.