Aging gracefully?

I don't know how graceful I am at doing it, but I am most assuredly aging! Know how I know? Besides looking in the mirror and looking at my drivers license...

I just came in from weeding all of my flower beds (except for one that I forgot) see senility is there too! I am now nursing every aching muscle I have, that could be affected by bending over, stooping down, pulling out, lifting up and carting away. Owwww! Not to mention that my Fibro is going bonkers in my shoulders and elbows. I think I am falling apart.

Another thing that let's me know how old I am is that my middle son, Jordan, is 21 today! Shoot, now he's a full fledged adult! That kinda stinks if you know what I mean? I cannot believe how fast they grow up. I am trying desperately to let them grow up, and to let go. Matter of fact I am kinda paranoid about that. I don't want to over-do motherhood!

I am not a control freak, I am not (as my brother so kindly pointed out on Saturday) a neat freak. I do like to see ducks in a row, but there seems to be weeds growing around them. (That is the flower bed I missed) If I was a control freak I would want everything done (well I want it done, but it doesn't get there) I would want to control everything, but I find I am seriously lacking in having anything under control!

I have also decided that I am excellent at multi-tasking. I figured that out by doing my daily activities, start one thing and end up doing 15 other things as I go from room to room... Anyone else like that? My sister and I claim to have ADD. I changed it from ADD to ADOS (Attention Deficit...Oooooh Shiny) ever since I saw the little "Pieces of Flair" on Facebook. Yes, I have a Facebook page! And a Myspace page too!

See I can't stick to just one thing!

My hands are an absolute mess! No long nails, grass stained, hangnails, and dirt under what little nails I do have, Ohhhh I hate that. I say that because I am looking at my poor hands as I type. One thing I do like, is to have my hands look nice... well, I am seriously lacking on that at the moment. I don't want to take the time or spend the money to get my nails done, as I usually do. I have other things I'd like to spend the money on...

Ewwww, even my hands look old!

Like buying stuff for the guest room! That means SHOPPING! I am itching to get started in that room, but Jeff thinks I need to wait until both boys are back to school. Jordan left yesterday, and Chris is waiting until the 30th to go. So that means I have to wait! Ugh! I hate waiting. I am still waiting to hear from the publisher, and I am not doing that very well.

Complain, complain. complain...whine, whine, whine...One of my favorite things to do (I have many favorites)

Let me see where was I? Oh, I remember, I think... I was shopping yesterday and found a few things. I also purchased material to make a quilted dresser scarf, and table scarf for the quest room. The colors are so pretty! Here are pictures I have to many things I want to do so I don't know how much I will actually get done.

The ones on the left are for the guest room, the ones on the right are for my living room, or somewhere... I loved the colors.

As I was copying my pictures from my camera to post the pictures above, I ran across these of Jeff. He apparently took them of himself when we visited Micah in Virginia in May. I thought you might get a kick out of them. I'm sure he never imagined I'd post them on here when he took them! Ha! Now you see what I have to put up with... a goofy but lovable husband!

I should quit playing around here and get back to work. I still have a lot to do today, if my creaky achy body will let me!

It's Monday

Why is it the weeks go by so fast? Seems you blink, and they are gone. I did have a good weekend though. Jeff and I borrowed my brother's houseboat on Saturday, and spent the night out on the lake. It was nice. I truthfully didn't want to go, because it needed a lot of work as no one had used it yet this year, so I envisioned WORK. Jeff and my brother Doug had made sure everything was working (necessities) and cleaned it a bit. So, it wasn't nearly as bad as I had anticipated. I did do some cleaning on Sunday. And no we didn't go to church. I know we felt a bit odd because we love our church! However, I am sure Dwight would understand, and excuse us. Jeff desperately needed some time away that was relaxing, that didn't involve driving for nearly 20 hours. We both felt rested, so much so that we could hardly keep our eyes open later in the afternoon, so... we napped! It was a beautiful day, I got some sun, actually I got sunburned. And Jeff got to do what his heart desired, he idled around Atwood Lake.

I have canning to do today. I have tomatoes ready to do another batch of salsa, I have red beets ready, and I have beans (the LAST of the season) and I have a boat load of zucchini. I made 3 batches of zucchini bread on Friday, ummm yummy! So as you can see I have a busy day ahead of me.

Jordan will be returning home from Virginia today. He went to visit Micah. He will come home, play golf with NewPointe's golfing league, pack his car and leave for Indiana tomorrow. I cannot believe this kid, running, running, running. He leaves for California on Thursday, and his 21st Birthday is this Wednesday. I'd like to know how I got so stinkin inkin old? My kids don't seem to realize that I get older just as they do, so I think I'd like to slow that progress down a bit. Micah will be 24 next month, I have one teenager left... until March, then Chris will be 20! Whew! Move over for granny...

I am still waiting to hear about the manuscript. Bummer. I received an e-mail from the people I sent the short story to for the Gary Chapman/Jim Bell book, just saying that she received it and looked forward to reading it. I won't know about that one until November... I have to finish/polish the one for the other Jim Bell book. It is due by the 24 of August.

I began shopping around for ideas for what I should wear to the Moravian Women's Conference. I know it's a long time away, but I am one of those goofy people that likes to PLAN. I saw Lisa Troyer at the mall and told her why I was there. She will be there too (at the conference). She didn't come out and say it, but I think she though it was a bit early to plan that. Ha! I have to make sure everything matches... remember? That could take a while. I am sure I have something in one of my totes downstairs that I could wear since I have clothes in size ranges of 5/6 to 16. I am in the 10-12 range at the moment, hoping to be a 10 by the middle of October... we'll see.

I don't have a lot of exciting stuff for this post. Sorry. I guess I should take that as a sign that I need to get busy around here. Start adding water to my canners, wash jars, chop veggies, yippee...

Fear

Why are we so familiar with this emotion? I wake up everyday, knowing that I have an entirely new day ahead. I don't have the intention to become fearful, but for some reason it slips into my day, somehow, somewhere. Recently it has been fear of failure (again). I am still waiting to hear from the publisher about my manuscript. I think it's going to be another rejection... I seem to be searching out places to hide not physically, but emotionally. I'll get busy doing things that truly need to be done, but I am hiding from the inevitable. I mentioned in an earlier post about writing that is due by weeks end. I am working on it, but I am fearful they won't like what I have written. I am having trouble coming up with a "story" for one of them, and then I second guess what I already have written.


I then revert back to something familiar, like canning vegetables, or doing laundry, or cooking. Something I know I am capable of doing, and am easily able to accomplish. I was supposed to go to a writer's class Monday, and because of a phone call, I allowed myself to cancel going because of something else. I found out a short time after I cancelled that it wasn't really necessary, but I let that stupid fear of man, and intimidation take over. UGH. Sorry Sally!


I am reading a book that I purchased two years ago called For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn. It is a book explaining the male, and his way of thinking. I think this is something that I really need to understand. I am finding out just how fragile the male ego truly is. I thought I was a mess and very weak in certain areas, but I never really thought about how Jeff may be feeling in a similar situation. So, hopefully I will read it and it will help me understand, and put a few things into action. I think that maybe I need to get Jeff the book For Men Only, by Jeff Feldhahn. Maybe he'll be able to figure out some of my "problems".

Oh, how truly fragile we human beings are.

It is now Sunday and I began this blog on Tuesday. I kept adding bits and pieces to it but each time it said that the site was down, so I used that excuse to not finish.

I did accomplish a lot since I began this post. I finished the last devotional, they are due today, but I got permission to send it out tomorrow once I receive the edited ones back. I also added to the story for the Gary Chapman/James Stuart Bell book, and I sent it out this afternoon. I received another invitation to write for James Stuart Bell for his book: A Cup of Comfort Book of Bible Promises: Stories of How God Faithfully Keeps His Word in Our Lives.

I will probably send in another story for this one. As soon as I get it written. I have a very short amount of time to get this one written. Only about a week and a half. I may use one I already have written, but get it edited for this one.

I found out that another friend of mine will also be at the Moravian Women's Conference in October. Lisa Troyer and the Circle Of Friends worship team will be doing worship at this conference where I will be sharing on Saturday morning. I mention it on the side bar of this blog! It will be a blessing to be a part of that, but also to work at the same place as the COF worship team.

This week is Jordan's last week at the nursing home. He will be done on Wednesday. He is then going to visit Micah in Virginia.He will be home for a whole day before he leaves to head to Indiana, then on to California to visit a friend from IWU. They will drive back to school from CA. Jordan will also celebrate his 21st Birthday next week. WOW I can hardly believe it! I feel old when I think about that.

We will then send Chris off to IWU that last week of August. The summer has flown by. The boys are really anxious to get back to school and their friends. They have been pretty bored here in Dover over the summer. Not much to do. I will miss them a lot, but I do have to admit it is nice to have the extra time alone. Jeff and I got into the habit of not having to worry about the boys, when they will be home, if they will be here to eat, and so on. We got on our own schedule...

I will be doing my counseling classes again after the guys are gone. It's just been to hard to keep up with studies and write, and take care of ALL the laundry, all the dishes, all the gardening/canning. I love doing all of those things, but whew... I'm pooped.

I still have not heard from the publisher. It will be four weeks on Tuesday. I did e-mail them, but I think that because of the Greater Philadelphia Christian Writers Conference, that was this weekend that may have had something to do with the delay. We'll see.

My, I have such random thoughts. I apologize for all of the different directions I have taken. It has been well over a week since I posted. I will try to do better in the near future.

Oh, yes another rabbit trail here... I made contact with an old aquaintance from college this week. We were pretty good friends and had kept in touch for many years, but over the past seven or eight years have completely lost touch. It was nice hearing form Laurie again. I actually found her on Facebook, sort of by accident. I was just typing in names and thought hmmmm, I wonder if Laurie might have a Facebook page. Sure enough! Then I tried several other names but came up empty handed on those. So far since January, I have been in contact with four people from my old college days. Fun!

Well, I think I have confused or amused all of you enough. I'm sleepy, and have another migraine... more later-I promise.