Computer insanity or just me?

I have discovered that if you are not already insane before you TRY to wipe your computer clean of malware, you will be before the process is done! I am still trying to fix things on this STUPID computer. Everything seems to be working ok except for the monitor. I look at pictures on here, and everyone and everything looks like it is in negative mode. (like I am looking at a photo negative) Yet, on my outlook everything is fine. Can anyone that is computer literate explain that to me ????? PLEASE!

I am losing patience.

I am getting old.

Only 10 days before I hit "49". I think a lot of those days I feel more like "94". I cannot say that 50 looks overly attractive. Ugh. Although I am on the way to being healthier than I have been in years, not to mention much lighter, I still struggle. My life is not quite on the path that I thought it would be.

I have decided and claim that this is the year that I am going to let God "take my heart by surprise." Yes, I have come to the conclusion that I will not try to tell God what I want, and that I will let Him do what He wants in me. Sounds simple right? Not exactly. I like being in control. I like having my ducks in a row (even if my row is a bit cluttered) I am a list maker, a planner. I HAVE to know what is going to happen, a schedule, have a map or directions. I tend to get into God's way and not let Him do things in my life because I always have to know.

I have been hugely surprised that since November when I spoke at the Moravian Women's Conference, I have been invited to share with Hiland schools 7th grade girls and their moms. Sharon Conservative Mennonite Church (2 weeks ago), United Dayspring Mennonite church (this Sunday night) St. Joseph Catholic church (during Lenten season) , and Jerusalem Church (April 23) Why now? Why me?

Perhaps it's taken God this long because I stood in His way?

I am trying to step aside, and that my friends is why this year is taking the direction that it is.

Surprise me God!