What a week

It's so amazing to me what God can do in my life in a weeks time. He has spoken in several different ways that I won't go into, but I am encouraged.
I know that there are things that need A LOT of attention and things that need changed in my life, but there are also things that God is using. I am always stunned when that happens.

I had opportunities this week that I am sure God used to teach me a few things about myself. Even if we are totally human, and make mistakes, if we make ourselves available to be used by Him, He will actually use us. I have been very blessed to be a part of a support group that our church holds for those in grief. It is called GriefShare. Jeff and I have been leading it for almost two years. It helps those in grief to work through some things, and to realize that they aren't losing their minds. Grief is a funny thing. Just when you think you're doing OK, it will rear it's head and make you realize that you may not be so OK. The holidays are so hard to get through, from Thanksgiving to New Years and of course Christmas in between. Every year that passes since Liz's death seems to be a slight bit easier than the last year, but something always seems to spark the tears and this year is no different. It doesn't seem to be anything in particular that sparks it, it just happens. I guess maybe the fact that I have so many friends that are experiencing grief for another time, makes me think about loss.

I have been so diligently trying to do special things this year for Christmas. I have been making things, and baking things, sewing things and stamping things. I love to be creative. However, I am finding that I am not getting a lot of my projects finished. That too is how I am feeling about my life. I have begun so many things during the past several years with great enthusiasm, only to get distracted and not complete what I had begun.
I am hoping that in 2008 God will help me to finish the things that I have begun and then forgotten. I am praying that 2008 will be my "year of completion".

I truly desire to be used by God, but I tend to allow distractions to cloud my desire to serve Him. I feel that way every year, but I think that over the past five months of being "un-employed" I have been able to get over some barriers that seemed like mountain ranges in my life. Oh, I still have a few more mountains to climb, and hills to make my way over too, but I pray that my journey will be met with encouragement from friends, and family. That I would be pleasing to my heavenly Father and be able to be an obedient child of God.

I don't know if I'll have time to blog again before Christmas, but if I don't I want to wish all of you a Merry Christmas (particularly some of my far away friends that I don't get to see) but may each and everyone of you have a blessed time of rejoicing and celebrating. Remember, we may celebrate a Birthday, but it's not only the life of Jesus we celebrate, but the life He brings to each of us if we believe!

Brrrrrr.

Baby it's cold outside! Icy, slushy, window scraping cold. I'm so glad the boys came home yesterday in the lovely sunshine. Finals are over, first semester under their belts, and five loads of laundry later. I'm a happy momma. It's so hard to believe how fast the time goes.

I am preparing for tomorrow's employee Christmas party for our business. Getting out the "pretty dishes" ironing the tablecloths, washing the winter scene stemware by hand. I'm excited and anxious to start cooking. Beef tenderloin, parsley and buttered new potatoes, steamed broccoli, creamed corn from our garden, salad, rolls...ummmm and appetizers and dessert too. Makes me hungry to think about it!

I still have some shopping to do for Christmas, and a few more things to wrap. I have most of my groceries for Christmas too. I got all of my candy made yesterday, I still have some baking to do, but at least I got my oven cleaned on Monday! Now I can bake without my kitchen getting smoky!

It seems that God is still doing some inner work for me before I am able to finish writing my manuscript. It's really hard to get past some of the hang-ups I've been holding on to most of my life. I think that the getting organized thing that I've felt I needed to do was not only to get my house cleaned, but it is for my heart and mind as well. Please keep me in your prayers as I under-go this whole adventure. I want so badly to complete the task the God set before me, but it seems that I have allowed my insecurities to rule my life. God is showing me on an almost daily basis things that I have allowed to come between He and I. There are times that I simply want to turn tail and run, but God gently coaxes me into listening to what He has to say. I'm finding that I don't like to hear the things that He has to point out that I need to release to Him. It hurts. I'm slowly working on trusting that it really won't kill me, even though it may feel like it.

You know that when God speaks something to your heart, sometimes it's fearful to think that He is going to bring some of those things to pass. You can feel so inadequate, and incapable. The dreams and visions that God has reminded me of that I have had over the past 25 years, are beginning to take form. What seemed like an impossibility way back then, sometimes still seems like an impossibility today, yet it's happening. God has been doing the "remember when" thing in the past few months. Things that I had completely forgotten about or deemed just a dream I had, are actually real. I guess God had to give me a "warning" all those years ago just so It wouldn't give me apoplexy today. God is SOOOO amazing. I know He is equipping me to face each day no matter how I feel about a situation.

Just a pile of thoughts.

My #2 son, Jordan, sent me this the other day. Click on the link to watch it. http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1171055534 appearing in the following order :Chris, Micah, Jordan and Buzz. I laughed pretty hard. I guess at least one of my family is in the Christmas mood. Although Jordan has been listening to Christmas music since September, and decorated his dorm room too. Maybe there is a little bit of me in him after all.

The college son's are having finals, two for Jordan today and one for Chris, then two more for Jordan tomorrow, and one for Chris,. Wednesday only one for each of them. It's hard to believe that school is half way over for them. I don't like to admit it, but I am getting used to doing laundry for only two of us! It more than doubles when they're home. Last night at our Small group we had a small gathering, but we did have fun. We went to Denise's house. We had lots of yummy Christmassy goodies, and played the game "Apples to Apples" I had never played it before. It was fun! Even Jeff liked it and he isn't a "gamey" kind of guy. He even suggested that we play games this Friday night for our company party. Huh, wonders never cease.

Right now I wish I was two people. I have so much that I want to do, but there doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day. I still haven't finished my projects from last week. I intend to get them done then take pictures... HONEST! I do have a clean closet and drawers now. Yes, not that I intended to do that, but we needed to snake out the bathtub drain and naturally the access is in MY closet! Ugh. But hey, it looks really nice now. I only need to get rid of the pile of summer clothes in front of my dresser.
I wish I was able to make all of the things I'd like to make for all the people in my "circle of friends and loved ones". I have enough stuff in my basement that I could make gifts all year for next year and still have stuff down there for the following year.

I had a pretty cool experience on my way to church yesterday. I was half thinking half praying, and I felt the Lord urge me to seek out a couple of people. Apparently it really was a God thing because the one person was standing right outside the door of the "Sanctanasium" (Sanctuary-Gymnasium). I took that from the Lord as "I told you so". I also saw one person that was on my heart that doesn't even attend our church. That's
cool!
John had a terrific message. (www.newpointe.org). Maybe God was speaking to a lot of people yesterday. Listen to the message and you'll see what I mean.

Well, I've covered enough topics to make every one's head spin, so I think I'll go watch Seinfeld with Jeff!

Weeellll, it's been awhile

I really have worked on a blog or two since I last posted, but decided that those words were meant just for me, so I didn't post! Sorry. But I'm back for now...

I have been soooooo busy in the last month. I have been making Christmas gifts. Yes, all the bragging about what I wanted to do to prepare for Christmas, well, I have actually been doing a lot of them. I have busily been cutting and piecing quilted items. It has been so fun! I have not quilted or even pieced a quilt for a few years, and I forgot how much fun it is. It is very time consuming, but I am taking a short cut by machine quilting the pieces. So any of you that get one of my "creations" remember that I am a little rusty. Some of the pieces are not exactly perfect, but they are stitched with love! As soon as I finish a couple of them I'll take a picture and post it. I have begun to do some baking, and will do more this week in preparation for our Christmas party for our employees next Friday. I am doing the cooking for it, so I am planning the menu and the decorating for that evening, as well as doing the quilting. I have also wrapped the gifts that I have so far. I feel slightly ahead of where I normally am at this point.

I love Christmas! I'm probably worse than a kid. I have done all the decorating myself. I had my boys and my husband haul out the decorations down from the barn loft the day after Thanksgiving. That is the end of their help, except for Jeff, he did put his ONE favorite ornament on the tree.

See the picture of it ------------->

Jeff's grandparents had this, and after Mamie Jane died in 1982, we were able to get some old ornaments this has a little spinner that moves from the heat of a light it's pretty cool. Anyway that is my husbands handy work! I am a kook when it comes to decorating. I still have some decorations to put up outside. Maybe I'll get to it tomorrow.

It's been snowy the past three days, so it's really putting me in the mood for Christmas. I know I'm a little obsessed. Just pray for me!

Two of the boys will be coming home this week. Jordan and Chris have finals Monday thru Wednesday, then will come home after their last final on Wednesday morning. WOO-HOO! Micah will be coming home LATE on Christmas eve. His last service will be over around 10 p.m. and then he'll hit the road! I can't wait!

I've been a little under the weather today, feeling kinda "pukey". I was supposed to spend the afternoon with my sister. We were going to make to-from cards for our gifts. This is a big endeavor for my sister. She is not real active in the craft department, but she ordered a set of Christmas stamps when I had my Stampin' Up party. Anyway, I had to cancel at the last minute (bummer) so' we'll try to do it another day. My nephew Sean will be coming home from Costa Rica this Thursday. He has been there since the end of August going to school. He is a student at Mount Vernon, and was doing a semester of study down there. He is a Spanish major as well as a Youth Pastor major.

I better run... things to do, crafts to make... decorations to decorate...

Ahhhh, it's good to be back!

I'm back!

I have wanted to blog for days now, but my energy level as been below zero...I'm here now!

The trip to Virginia was wonderful. I so enjoyed my time there. I loved spending time with Micah. It didn't seem like very long, but I'm sure he was ready to see me come home! I did clean for him though. I was a nervous wreck on Tuesday before I shared Tuesday night. I have to do something when I'm upset or mad. That's when I get a lot done at home.

There were about 70 women there for the meeting. Andrea told me that was the biggest group they've had (no pressure or anything). I am so grateful to the Lord that when I got up to share I had a total peace. Micah sang about four or five songs then he introduced me... I was so proud of him! He's such a blessing. All of my boys are blessings by the way!

I went over my allotted time by about 10 minutes. I don't remember all of what I shared, but I do remember what I didn't share. I was so upset by the time I left the church, I wanted to cry. I am not sure why the Lord didn't have me share certain things, but I prayed for weeks before, and I know that something I shared was for someone! Thank you to all of you for praying! I was encouraged by one of the pastor's wives not to second guess myself, so Jane, I am attempting to get over it! What a gracious group of ladies I met. I so enjoyed that!

I also had the opportunity to fellowship with Pastor Gary and his wife Terry, and their boys. We went out for dinner after church on Sunday, then back to their home for coffee and dessert. They asked me to share our testimony with them because Terry had never heard all of it and she would not be able to be there on Tuesday. I completely lost track of time then. They had to go to their youngest son's awards ceremony for football. I made poor Terry cry and then she had to leave for the awards. Sorry Terry!

On Monday night we went to dinner with Pastor Kelley and Jane his wife and daughter Kelly Renee. We sat and talked after our meal for a long time! Thanks again!

I am so blessed to get the opportunity to meet those that Micah works with. Pastor Gary and Pastor Kelley, and their families. What a wonderful group of pastors! I also met several of the other ladies that work at the church. Thanks to all of you for making my visit so special. I'm enjoying the bag of "goodies" you gave to me. I feel very blessed to know all of you!

Micah and I had a good time at the Washington Monument. It certainly gives you a new perspective, and a lot of appreciation for our country! Thanks for getting the tickets Mic!

The White House

Lincoln Memorial

Flags around Washington Monument

The Jefferson Memorial

I am looking forward to having the family home for the holidays, all of the boys come home on Tuesday, then we'll have Thanksgiving at Jeff's Mother's at noon and then at my sister, Suzanne's, at 6 p.m.

There is always so much food it is such a shame not to be able to share it with more people than just the family. We are truly a blessed nation that we can even celebrate Thanksgiving, but it has turned very much into such a dreadfully over indulgent thing it is a shame. I have been looking at how I celebrate, and how I feel about things. This morning pastor Dwight had a message that really challenged me again. I have been thinking about Christmas, and the gifts and how I don't NEED anything. I even have trouble coming up with ideas if things I want. What does that tell you? We have MORE than necessary, more than any other nation on this earth. We have become a nation of hoarders. It has taken our minds off of the true meaning of Christmas, and we have made it such a commercial thing.... God forgive us! I have decided that I want to make a difference in someone else's life this year! I'm praying about just what the Lord would have me to do. Thanks for the challenge Dwight!

I'm leavin on a jet plane...

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go (I feel like breaking into an old song)I am so excited I leave tomorrow.I got that room in the basement done, the sheets are changed, the laundry is done and put away. The floors are swept, furniture dusted,

MARK THIS DAY IN HISTORY!

I have talked to all three boys today. Talked to the Pastor's wives in VA, and I have some of my message prepared. I'm nearly done. Please continue to pray! I"M EXCITED, oh I am soooooo excited! Pray for Jeff while I'm gone. He's hasn't been a bachelor for 26 years. He said oh, I can handle it. He has always had the kids to be with him, or at least some of them. Now it'll just be Buzz. Poor puppy already seems depressed. He watched me pack then he watched me re-pack, then he watched me take clothes out of the suitcase to wear today, and wash them and squeezed them into my suitcase. I am not going to check my luggage in, so I have to pack wisely.... uh yea, sure... my little suitcase weighs about 40 pounds. it does have wheels, but I have to pick it up and put it in an overhead compartment, DUH, what was I thinking??? Oh well, there is a chiropractor that goes to the church!

I'm pooped, I've been awake since before 5 a.m. and going strong, till now. I don't know if I'll have time to blog while I'm gone, but I'll try. I'm taking my camera, so hopefully I'll have a photo or two to post.

Again, please pray!

Ahhhhh, I feel organized!

Oh yeah, I am feeling pretty organized at the moment. I spent about four hours cleaning out my bedroom, really cleaning it out. About four garbage bags worth of it! I only need to change the sheets tomorrow, and I 'm done in there. It makes me feel really good. I am a messy by nature. I love it when I step out of my norm, and do something in the positive.
I still need to work on the last two rooms in the basement, but I got a brainstorm about one of the things today, so I hope to get to it on Wednesday.

I also picked out my clothes (after trying on several different things) to take to Virginia. I have them packed too! All I need to do is iron what I am wearing on the plane, and pack the last minute stuff. Woo-Hoo! I am pretty excited about the trip. I am a little nervous too. Please be praying for me as I prepare what I am sharing. It always amazes me how our testimony can be shared in so many ways. It seems that each place we share, God has us focus on a certain aspect of what happened. I will be sharing on forgiveness and hurts. I will be sharing on Tuesday night (next week) so please pray!

Just talked to my youngest, ahhh, a happy mommy heart! I sure do miss my guys. Micah is in California at a Worship Leaders conference. He e-mailed me a picture of palm trees from where he is. Jordan is doing his clinicals tomorrow. He really seems to enjoy them and does real well. Chris actually had all his homework done, and was going to have some free time tonight. He's gonna watch Prison Break. That's where I'm headed momentarily!

Don't forget to VOTE tomorrow!

Memories

In the last 25 hours I have been working on my wedding scrapbook. I am nearly done and it's only 26 years after the wedding. I was at the all night scrap book event. Out of those 25 hours, I worked for 18 of them. I did come home at 1:45 this morning and slept. I went back by 8 a.m. I am so happy that I FINALLY have those memories in a book that looks special.

It made me think about how much I love Jeff. We only knew each other for six months before we got married. I came home from Charlotte North Carolina in April of 1981, and swore that I would NEVER get involved in a relationship EVER again. Then a month to the day later my friend Ruth introduced me to a friend of her boyfriends. It was a blind date, and poor Jeff thought he was being invited to a party with several other christian young people. He came to the door with a six pack of diet soda, and wondered where everyone was. He saw Tom and Ruth, and just one other person (me) and knew he'd been had! I am so glad he didn't walk back out that door faster than he walked in. From that point on we were inseparable.

We met on May 17, and were married on November 28, 1981. We will soon be celebrating 26 years of marriage. As I put the last picture on the last page of the book, I really got to thinking about what I wrote in the sand. You know the scene, young couple strolling down the beach while on their honeymoon, and stop to write I love _ _ _ _ . I hope you can see the picture below. "It says I love Jeff". I realized that when I wrote that I thought I loved him. Now I KNOW I love him!

How can I not love someone that has devoted himself to being a good husband and father. One that loves me no matter what I look like (I'm certainly not the tiny 105 pounds I was then). He puts up with my mood swings (we're talking pendulum like swings on a HUGE clock). He puts up with my piles (he does contribute to the mess too). He has been at my side through giving birth to our four babies. He has been at my side through two horrifically painful back surgeries. He never left my side when we had to learn of the death of our daughter, and throughout the painful times surrounding that. He has humored me in things I had no business doing, but I thought I was doing the right thing.

He is my rock. My hero. I may get angry, even furious with him. I may get tired of his "thrifty-ness". I may get tired of his complaining about wanting to retire and a few other minor things. But I love this man! I can't imagine life without him, nor do I want to! I would shrivel up and die. We may not have the best marriage in the world, but we do understand each other for the most part. we are devoted to each other.

I really do mean what I wrote in the sand nearly 26 years ago. He is the man of my dreams. The father of my children, my better half, my support, my husband, the answer to all the prayers I prayed for MANY years!

I Love Jeff!

What kind of cereal am I?

In reading Lee Ann Miller's blog she talks about being "Fruit Loopish" (see http://www.leeannmiller.net/) I got to thinking what kind of cereal am I like?

One thing I know I am not and that is cereal like Lucky Charms..., so sickeningly sweet...nope not me (ask Jeff). Am I like Rice Krispies kind of tasteless and full of air (on certain days yes). Am I more like a high fiber cereal Muselix or Raisin Bran... A little goes a long way. Maybe I am more like Corn flakes? I really don't want to be a flake. How about Cheerios? It simple, yet good for you? Oatmeal? I'm not quite sure. I think I am a big bowl of a mixture, depending on the day and time I can be a jumbled up mixture (that's how I like to eat cereal by the way) a little bit of several kinds because I like them all!

Next thing on my mind: (yes I am using it today) I read Sue's blog (see http://.sue-kaufman.blogspot.com) she had a list going of things she likes, so here goes mine. Not necessarily in order.

I like having my boys all home at the same time (Thanksgiving woo-hoo).

I like to have a relaxing evening home with Jeff. We can eat dinner, and put on our p.j.'s and just be home.

I like to cook one of Jeff's favorite meals and see him eat himself into oblivion.

I like to be inspired.

I like to spend time with friends.

I like to read a good book.

I like the feeling I get when I go to the basement and look at the shelves full of food I have canned. It's rewarding (and tasty).

I like to decorate my house for the seasons. I do snowmen (I have about 500+ in my collection). I do birds, bees and flowers for spring. I do pumpkins (not jack-o-lanterns) and leaves and anything pretty and orange (I am into the oranges the last couple of years) for Fall. And Christmas ooooohhhh I love to decorate for Christmas! Snowflakes, snowmen, and red glass ornaments.... ooooooo pretty!

I love to be organized.... I am still working on this one!

I love serving the Lord! He inspires me!

Whadda ya think Sue K? Oh by the way, I agree with you on the blogging! It keeps me informed about a lot of things, plus I am just NOSEY! I want to know what everyone is up to!

Keep reading and keep the comments coming!

Stuff

Married Life Live was a huge hit last night! The food Made by "Queen Jean" was fabulous, and it was a joy to work under her leadership! Jeff had a lot of fun too. He used to help me when I did stuff like that. Kudos to you Jean! We watched Jordan V's baptism this morning. I say watched because we couldn't hear! The sound wasn't turned on in the atrium! I had to hold back the tears!

I saw another friends (Lisa's) daughter baptised too! Jillian I really did enjoy your testimony! (They had the sound fixed second service) What a blessing it is when we get the opportunity to see children baptised. It just boosts your faith.

I have enjoyed working the Group Life table this month. I have seen people that I don't normally get the opportunity to see. (I think I mentioned this in a previous blog) It's still fun!

Well I did get the hair cut (about 8 inches cut off) and highlights. My two Mary friends say it looks "sassy" I really like it and Jeff seems to approve. He said he likes this color better than the red it was. It was actually light golden brown (so says the box). I was hoping for 10 years younger - I think I got at least 7 , but unfortunately the 50 pounds lighter didn't happen. Only the weight of the hair (felt like at least 20). It's fun to do something different, I think women need to kick it up a notch every once in a while. I get bored. I don't seem to have much control over somethings in my life my weight being one of them but by gosh by golly, I can do the hair thing!

I have ribs baking in the oven, can't wait for dinner. Ummmm it smells sooooo good. Chips and salsa were good, but if that's all you had for lunch it leaves something to be desired!!!

I had an interesting time after church today. I went out to get in the van to come home at 12:40 p.m. today only to find my left rear tire almost flat! I'm no rocket scientist, but I do know not to drive on a flat. I called "Super Jeffy" to come to my rescue. He was sleeping (his Sunday nap a little early) he went home from early service. Anyway, he ended up coming back to the church to get me. I figured I'd be without a vehicle for a day or two. He checked the tire (I found the culprit...a screw stuck in the tire) he decided that it was drivable. HE drove my van home, and I followed in his car. Sorry Jessica for going so slow down 39! So the van is home, but no compressor. It's loaned out to a friend. Jeff went to pick it up a little while ago. I assume that I'll have to take it over to get patched tomorrow. Thank God for husbands!!!!

It seems I am not the only one going through a time of testing. I was talking with a friend today and found out that she is having a time of it too. I certainly hope and pray that whatever it is that God wants us to learn, we learn it early in the testing. It really hurts to have to go over it and over it ... I am finding that I have a "fear of man" issue. I am always so concerned about what people will think if I do something. I don't want to be on a pedestal, I just don't want to look like a dork or a fool. I certainly don't understand why things happen the way they do. I just know that while we are going through (yes all the way through) that God will be right there holding or hand, or in some cases carrying us. Lord, let me learn quickly and well! Love ya friend! We need to be true to our calling, just not overdoing it. I'm praying to learn all of that for myself.

Tis the season?

I can tell it's coming up on the holiday season. My A-D-D is kicking in. There are so many things that I would love to do, that I tend to get in over my head when it comes to fun projects! Today I purchased material to make Christmas wall hangings, I already have material to make throw pillow covers for my living room furniture for Fall and Christmas. I also have purchased things from my Stampin Up party that I intend to do. I will be going to an all night cropping party to scrapbook next weekend. I want to start baking and freezing Christmas goodies. I have apples that I need to do. I am planning a Christmas party for our employees that I am going to cater myself (I think). I told my sister -in-law that I would gladly help with an 80th.Birthday party for my mother-in-law on the weekend of the 16th. and in between those things I will be going to Virginia.

So what is the general consensus? Yep just like I thought. I have A-D-D!

I would like to know when I think I am going to get all of this done and continue with my writing. I have to many irons in the fire I guess, but I love to do all of this stuff. I need a life coach! Someone to help me get my brain together.

I would also like to know why I have a tendency to open my mouth and say stupid things? I was not to happy with Jeff this morning at 5:20 a.m. when he decided to crawl out of bed. I was even less happy when at 5:45 he let the dog outside to bark (and pee). At 6:09 when he came upstairs and very NICELY said "Honey, you need to get up, don't forget you have to take me to work this morning" I very NASTILY groused back at him! What a great way to set the tone for the day! I was not happy and I let him know it. I wish I was like superman and could inhale heartily and suck back in the events that had just happened. Sort of like we used to do when we were kids when we started to do something, if it wasn't right we'd say "do-over". And then proceed to do it over. I guess you'd think I'd learn to engage our brain before my mouth by my age.

Maybe one day I'll grow up. At least a little.

Splendor

Is this an amazing photo? I just stepped out the front door and snapped it! Wow! It looks like the sky is on fire. Just thought I'd share this with you. I finally figured out how to

put a picture on here. I am technically challenged!

What an amazing day it has been. Sometimes we need to do something to help someone else, to receive the blessing that God has for us. I went to NPCC today and helped Jean make about 75 apple dumplings, and will go back again tomorrow to make that many more. It made me feel useful, and I had a lot of fun. Jean has her hands full catering the Married Life Live event at the church on Saturday. Right now they are sold out of tickets. Jean is preparing food to feed about 534 people! It is amazing to me what she is able to accomplish. She's been making dumplings for about two weeks and freezing them. I am SURE all the food will be wonderful! I've been wanting to go out and help her do stuff, but selfishly I haven't because I wanted to do my own thing.

When I got home after helping Jean and visiting a few friends at the church, I had a message from Denise from our small group. Her grandma died and they needed some help with the food for after the funeral. I am thrilled to be able to help. I really miss doing things like that. I did it for many years at our old church, and for the last four years I haven't done much of that type of thing. There will be a small group so not much to prepare for, only about 20 people. I'll make a little extra just in case!

Jordan called home last night. Jordan and I at IWU's nursing dedication Sept. '07

He was really excited about something that had happened after his mid-term evaluation for his nursing Clinicals. He said that his Clinicals advisor had something to give him after class. He was a little unnerved at that point because he had no idea what was happening. When he went in she said she had something to give him. It was a letter that a woman had sent to the hospital where he is doing Clinicals in Huntington. IN. The letter was from his very first patient. This woman was so encouraging to Jordan when he met her and worked with her. She kept telling him what a great job he was doing and he was going to be a terrific nurse. Everything he did for her just kept getting that type of reaction. It ended up that she wrote to the hospital and told them about Jordan, and added a letter that she wanted them to make sure Jordan received. His advisor was so excited, and told him that she had never received anything like that since she began teaching. She asked his permission to copy this letter so she could share it with other classes, and with other professors! How exciting! She told Jordan that if he ever questioned if he had chosen the right vocation, this should let him know he was on the right path!

That's my boy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stampin Up, how much fun was that!

O.k. girls, here's your name in my blog: Suzanne, Ruth, Hope, Bethany, Mary, Carol, Jean, Terry, Jodie, Lauren, Erica, Betty and of course Shawn and myself. Needless to say it was really full in my dining room last night! We had lots of fun using our creative juices! I have been a scrap-booker for about eight years now, but this is only the second time I have done stamping. I am still a little slow (thanks Betty and Mary for helping me) but I had a blast. Despite the Yellow Jackets that thought it would be fun to buzz around the light above the table. I know I looked like a "goof" running around the table trying to swat them without anyone getting stung. Poor Mary has had enough stings this Summer/Fall. She decided to see how Yellow Jackets taste on Sunday. Actually, it was in her cup at church on Sunday, Owwwww! I didn't want to have anyone get a taste of ours, they have been doused in bug spray, and still the little critters continue!

I was going to blog last night, but I was to tired to even attempt it. So hopefully today's will do. It was really fun to have everyone in, and prompted me to clean things and move furniture and clean the cobwebs that popped up over night. I was going to hang decorations from them but some of them were hanging so low I was afraid someone would get hurt! Isn't is amazing how those things just appear? I did clean them out of the corners before my boys came home (honest) but somehow they were there in abundance again. I think the critters know winter is coming....Ugh!

It's a blustery day out there today, I don't really feel like going to the basement to clean although I may not have a choice if it's getting flooded. I have not checked yet and it's almost 9:30 a.m. so my day may be planned for me already. I know what is down there on the floor, the cardboard boxes with glassware and baskets, what a mess that will be. I just need to use those wonderful Rubbermaid containers (I should own stock in the company by now) and prevent a lot of anguish on my part. Jeff wouldn't have to say anything to me about what might be happening to the stuff on the floor, it would be well protected in plastic... O.k. I have to go peek down the steps, be right back (I hope).

Oh THANK YOU JESUS! No flood (at this point)

My sister, Suzanne, just called and asked me to pray for both of my nephews. Josh is in San Diego, California. He flew in there yesterday for work, and of course was told he may have to be evacuated because of the fires. Please pray for him, and for his safety. He and his wife Rose, just lost their baby two weeks ago.(Caleb was still born at five and a half months) And my other nephew, Sean, is in Costa Rica as part of his schooling. He called home last night and told his folks that he may have Dengue fever. The group of kids he went with over the weekend to another part of Costa Rica have been suffering from the "fever" since they got back on Sunday. Please pray for that group of kids and of course my nephew Sean.

I am looking forward to helping "Queen Jean" tomorrow at NPCC. WE will be making more apple dumplings for Married Life Live on Saturday. I know that there are over 500 that will be there, whether they are attending or working. That's a lot of apple dumplings, not to mention the other food which I understand is pork tenderloin, potatoes, and veggies, and salad. Jeff and I will be helping to dish things up for the servers. It should be fun. I used to do stuff like that out at Camp Buckeye, and at our old church. We had a small congregation so we had "covered dish" dinners frequently. I do miss that. With NPCC it's virtually IMPOSSIBLE to have a church "carry-in". Can you imagine how many tables of food we'd have if all the families would participate?????? Wow!

I think I'm going to sport a new look! I'm going to cut these stringy tresses, and highlight them! Who knows... I can control the hair, not the weight. I think that I'm looking a little old for such long hair, it's down to the middle of my back. While I love long hair, I'm not sure how complimentary it is on me. I wish I could find a hair style that would make me look 10 years younger, and 50 pounds lighter. Big job huh? It'll be fun to see people's expression with the change ... ha!

I know this is not anything very deep, my mind won't go there today. It's trying to get through the aches and pains brought on by the weather front coming through. Ohhhh the pain of it all! I'm moving a little slower today, and may not get a lot accomplished. I need to work on my writing. I am just not sure what part to work on. Pray! I better go check the basement again, the wind has shifted.

Sighhhhhhhh

The babies are gone, and it's just us empty nesters again. I 'm so glad we can stand each other. The boys pulled out at 3 p.m. and since that time we have accomplished: washing windows inside and out, killing about 10 yellow jackets (in the house) and covering up the holes on the outside of the house to trap the nasty little critters in their nests. We are going to have small group tonight, so this will be a shorter than usual post.

It was soooo wonderful to see the boys for three whole days. They were able to spend time with some of their friends and visit with some family. It's so hard to get everything done in just three days. They had a tough time leaving. I had a tough time with them leaving. We loaded the car, Chris checked the oil, Jeff checked the tires, the windshield washer fluid was topped off, and so were my tears. I can breathe a little easier this time. Not like when we took them to school the end of August.It took me three days before I was even able to catch a deep breath. We prayed for them and then they were off. They will be about half way by now it's about 5:30 p.m.

Micah called at about 1:30. He was just on his way home from church. He gets there about 6:30 Sunday mornings, to prepare for the three services they have. He's excited about meeting a young woman tomorrow that will audition for the worship team. She is going to play the violin, but is also able to play guitar and keyboard. She is the daughter of one of the other pastors there at Cornerstone. He told me that he bought tickets for he and I to go up in the Washington Monument while I am visiting. I am really looking forward to going. While I'm there I'll have opportunity to visit with more of the staff, and some of Micah's friends too.

I am having a few people in tomorrow for a "Stamping Up" party. If I didn't invite you please don't be offended. I have limited space and will probably have another one in the Spring. Let me know if you're interested! I been fixing some goodies for tomorrow, but will take a break to go to Small Group. Time's a tickin so I'm gonna grab some dinner and change my clothes. Off to Small group. If you wonder what Small Group is all about check out the www.NewPointe.org and look at the Small Group tab. It's a blast.

One visit down...one to go

Well my mommy heart is singing and a little bit sad, but I am so glad I got to see my Micah. He left about 3:15 today, so he may be about half way back to Leesburg. I'm happy because I got to see him for about 43 hours, but I'm sad because before he left we had a little talk and he was kinda down. He said it's just hard going through this stage, moving more out, and going back to Virginia where he is alone. He's pretty lonely. He's dated only a couple of girls in the last four years, and he has nothing serious on the horizon (my words there). His heart has been broken, and he has made some tough choices in the past, which has led to pretty much nothing in the way of relationships for now.

Of course the "Mommy" wants to fix it, and find the woman for him and help him to live happily ever after, but I know that is not healthy. For either of us really. He has only been in Leesburg for four and a half months. I see huge growth in him and in his occupation (Worship Leader) his maturity level in both areas is definitely visible. I heard a recording of last Sunday's music, and I am thrilled to hear how his voice is much stronger, and even. It just blesses me to know that he is in such a position and that God is using him to be a blessing to many.

Please pray for all three of my boys as they are working towards their future. Jordan too has had his heart broken once again, he told me the other day that he's lost a lot of weight. He's 6'1" and weighs only 135 pounds. (I give my right thigh to weigh that). He is one of the perfectionist type personality. He expects everything he does to be exact, and right on, and he puts so much stress on himself. He is in his second year of nursing school, and has recently started having his clinicals. Today he had his third patient but I have yet to talk to him to see how it went. His first patient was terrific and very complimentary to him and about him. His second patient was in a lot of pain and pretty much inconsolable. That had him bothered because he wanted to make her feel better and he couldn't.

Chris is doing ok. Classes are tougher that he anticipated, but he is spending a lot of time with a tutor and with his mentor and seems to be benefiting from that. He is taking two math classes this semester, Calculus and Discrete Mathematics. He had pretty much no study habits things just came pretty easily to him in High School. He never really applied himself, yet he was still in National Honor Society. He was satisfied with doing well but didn't push himself to excel.
He went on his first real date a couple of weeks ago. He went out with his room mate's fiance's best friend. It was one of those things that he did because his room mate asked him to (from my understanding) he said the girl was really pretty but didn't believe the way we do. So, it was a one time thing. I suggested he pray for her, so who knows what the future might bring...

Less than 48 hours till I see my IWU boys! I'm pretty happy on that note. I still want to be needed as a mom, so it's gonna be nice to have them "need me" to fix some favorites, and just hug on them (when they let me) I won't totally suffocate them, I'll let them come up for air (now and then)! It's gonna be a quick visit, but I'm excited!

I booked my flight to Virginia this morning. I am looking forward to that trip. It will be a working trip because I will be sharing our story with the women's ministry. It is a blessing to be able to do that, but it takes much prayer to prepare and time to recover afterward. It is very draining and emotional, but God has given us an amazing story so as we are asked to share, we never turn down the opportunity. Please pray for me! Pray for Jeff too as he will be home ALONE for four days. That will be something he hasn't done for many years.

Well this is getting VERY long, so I think it's jammie time! The Indians game starts in 20 minutes! Don't want to miss that. GO TRIBE!

My hearts all a twitter...

The toilets are clean, the floors are scrubbed, furniture polished and beds are ready... my babies are coming... one is halfway home the other two are anxious for Thursday. I'm going whacky just waiting. It gives me time to go through the two new piles of junk mail and general junk I seem to collect at a very rapid pace. I soooo wish I were a very clean very organized person. In my mind that is what I think. I guess I organize in my head, just not in actuality.

I don't want to become an obsessive compulsive (well maybe I do) I just am tired of being a S.H.E. (Sidetracked Home Eexecutive) I read a book about it once, matter of fact if I look through the pile of books in my basement (in one of the two rooms I have yet to conquer) I could probably find it if anyone would like to borrow it. I also have several other books on organizing (i.e.) The 15 Minute Home and Family Organizer by Emilie Barnes. It would take longer than 15 minutes to read, and a whole lot more time collecting dust, than it has helped me since I purchased it last fall... Yep that's me!

Or if any of you are interested I also am the proud owner of the book 12 steps To Becoming A More Organized Woman. by Lane P. Jordan. If I need to walk 12 steps to pick up the book and 12 steps to go sit back down on the couch, I have done twice the work the title claims, to no avail. I am still a direct descendant of the queen of piles (my mom) No matter how I try ,them seem to grow with out any help from me. They just appear behind me... beside me... everywhere.

My husband complains, and I get mad, then I clean with gusto, because I am mad. Then I cool off,... and make more piles. I sure am glad he loves me! I promised him before we got married that I would keep everything cleaned up (after he saw my bedroom for the first time) I was soooo sure it would be possible. I would wear my house dresses and heals and pearl necklaces just like Donna Reed, or Harriet Nelson and I would suddenly be Mrs. Clean because I was happily married and was having babies (at an alarming rate). Then I woke up and smelled the diapers, the garbage, the dog, and took a glance at the piles that were also growing in the laundry room. (I swear you may lose socks, but everything else multiplies). My poor brain just could not understand how things like that happen. So, like everything else, I made a list of what needed done, a wonderful menu for the month, grocery lists with only the necessary items needed to follow the monthly menu, then stuck it on top of the nearest pile. I felt rather smug with all I had created on paper, and went ahead with something I enjoyed (not cleaning) probably cooking or baking. I then lost sight of the list, and well...

I've just woken up out of the stupor I was in thinking about cleaning, and have figured If I plan it right, my house may stay clean for at least 12 hours. Not quite a record, but close. I may wake up to an empty sink, and no piles.
Woo-Hoo. I'm still excited I can't wait to you guessed it see my babies! Only two more hours! Yessssssss.

Cold gray days inspire me...

Really!
Cold gray days inspire me to do things inside. Right now I have pumpkin apple streusel cake going into the oven to take with me to the scrap booking/crop day tomorrow.. I am going to bake something else for here at home too. I need to scrub my kitchen floor, polish my hardwood floor in my dining room, scrub the bathroom floors, do a load of laundry, and if I have energy left I'll work in the basement. I plan to read too. I feel totally inspired. I have gotten so much done this week, that it makes me want to get the rest of the stuff done that I have been putting off. I am getting the itch to paint walls too. I think I'll start in the upstairs hallway in a week or two.

I plan on making a phone call or two to see if I can get some more help with my book. I have a couple of names of possible "coaches" for direction and ideas. I really want to get this done as I felt God spoke to my heart seven years ago to do just that. It's all in His timing I know, I can't just sit around and expect a finished manuscript to simply appear. It will take a little more effort on my part. Pray for me please.

I'm still really excited to be seeing my boys this week beginning Sunday night. Then in another week it'll be back to the empty nest. On October 24 my dad will have surgery to remove his bladder as the cancer is pretty bad. I hope he'll be able to get into a good nursing home to recover. I have a feeling that it may be more than just a recovery time though. We'll see. I'm not exactly looking forward to that.

On November 10th. I will be flying to Washington DC to visit with Micah and then to share at Cornerstone's women's group on the 13th. I am looking forward to that. I seem to be getting tested on the forgiveness issue again lately. Not with Matthew V. but with several other things. I hope I'll have a new perspective with which to share.

The oven just beeped so I'm off to bake.... Yippee!

Scrapbooking & family

This next week is going to be a good one. Beginning on Saturday I get to spend the day from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. scrapbooking! Woo-hoo!!
I haven't scrapped since May. I get to spend time with another one of my favorite people... Mary! We laugh, we cry, we eat, and of course do a few creative things in between. I can hardly wait.

The next wonderful thing is my oldest son Micah will be coming home Sunday night. It'll be a quick visit as he has to go back to Virginia on Tuesday, but it's been two months since we've seen him, so I am really excited! He is coming home to get more "stuff" since he is finally moved into his Townhouse. I'll post pics soon.

The next happy thing in my week will arrive on Thursday afternoon.
More of my babies are coming home! Yessssssss! Jordan and Chris will be home for Fall break (the long weekend)It'll be so good to have them home in their own beds, where I can go peek in and watch them snore... ahhhh a full heart!

Hey, I finally had a post with all positive things. Bless God! I am a happy woman.

More on friends...

I just spent an afternoon visiting with some very special people. I had lunch with Jessica, then went to NPCC and talked to Cindy, Anita, Jane, Todd, Chad, Vern, Mary and Jean. These are people that I used to work with at NPCC. Since quitting my job the end of June I don't get to see them very often and I really miss them, and all that they added to my life! Thanks gang!

I have been going through trial after trial lately and tend to see only what I am going through. On Monday I took my dad to Aultman hospital for the third surgery on his leg since June. I am a little discouraged because of the way he doesn't try to really help himself. After he was out of surgery I went to see him in ICU to make sure all was well, then left. At that point I went to another waiting room there at the hospital to visit with Dwight, and his dad, Jim, (one of my VERY VERY FAVORITE PEOPLE) because Jim's wife, Marie, was having surgery. They recently found out that she had cancer in her colon. They removed a cantaloupe sized tumor from her colon, and also found that it had affected her stomach and small intestine which had to be repaired. What a difference in those two situations! One waiting room was quiet and subdued (where I was) and then the room where all of Marie's family sat (It was packed!) There was life in that room! Even though Marie was in surgery and the prognosis was somewhat grim, the people in that room represented life and Jesus! They all prayed before Marie's surgery with Jim leading the prayer.

While my heart aches for them, and all that they face, I have this feeling that I should feel a little worse for my dad. No he doesn't do anything to help his situation, he doesn't even follow the doctors orders the majority of the time, it made me think about how I feel. I never had a good relationship with my dad. He was never interested in being a dad, never took much responsibility for the family. It was tough because we moved all the time. I personally went to 11 schools and moved 21 times before I was married. I guess that the respect level I have for my dad doesn't compare to what the Word of God says it should be. I need to pray for him, and forgive him for all of the things that happened over the years. It's really hard to understand how I can forgive the man that murdered my daughter, but I have a hard time forgiving my dad. Hmmm.... something to pray about.

Friends

I am so thankful for friends! As I look around when I'm at church, or when I am visiting, I realize just how truly blessed I am! Last night Jeff and I went to visit/help friends Brian and Deb. They have two darling little boys Nathan and Daniel. I have gotten my "fix" for the day after I spend a little time with the "guys". I have now received two full tours of their home down to the laundry chute. These two little guys have helped to heal the broken mommy heart I've been suffering with since we've turned into empty nesters! I read Fox in Sox till I thought my tongue would forever be twisted around my eye teeth!!! I read three other books or at least portions of them too. It was wonderful. We had terrific fellowship, and Jeff and Brian got a lot of trim put up in their basement.
Today while at church, I was able to visit with people that I don't get to see very often. It was WONDERFUL! I do have to chuckle when I think about what Jean V's daughter Jordan had to say today. She and her mom were "manning the table" where the box lunches are being ordered. Above the table it says "Save a cow, eat more chicken" or something like that. Jordan said to her mom "oh mom I'm so glad we can save the cows" (that may not be the exact quote, but close" Anyway, I forget how cute kids can be when they are still innocent. I enjoyed manning the Group Life table a lot, just to get me out there... I only talked to two people about Group Life, but I had a blast visiting. I'll be there next week too, so if you're visiting or attending NewPointe stop by and say hi!
Last weekend we went to Indiana to see our two IWU sons. IT WAS (sniff-sniff) SO GOOD TO SEE MY "BABIES" I know it's hard to refer to my 18 and 20 year-olds as babies, but hey, I call my oldest son (23) a baby too! I guess it just makes me feel needed if I think like that. (warped I know). I'll be going to Virginia to see Micah next month. I am going down to share my testimony at the Cornerstone Chapel's women's ministry on Tuesday November 13. What an awesome privilege that is. I hope I make God proud, and don't embarrass my son!
For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, our family suffered a horrible tragedy in May of 2000. Our daughter (then 17 years old) was abducted along with a friend of hers from a video store at our local mall. Our daughter was murdered, and her friend suffered tragically at the hands of this man as he tried to rape her and then murder her as well. She (the friend) lived, and helped to identify the man. Thank you Jesus!
God in His infinite mercy gave us the gift of forgiveness, and as a result we have been saved from a life of bitterness and hate! I know this was a gift because I am not a naturally forgiving person. I have to stew about it for a while, I tend to get a lot of cleaning done when I am mad or upset. Good for our home, but the forgiveness is good for the soul! Once I get to the point of being ready to forgive, or seek forgiveness, it can be hours or even days. I realize that is NOT the way God wants things to happen. He says "don't let the sun go down on your wrath" (Ephesians 4:26).
In the case of the murder of Liz, when Jeff immediately said to the detective: "I know that our daughter is dead, and we forgive the man that did this" It came as a SHOCK to me to know that Liz was dead, but the forgiveness was instantaneous! And REAL! That is what I will be sharing about in November. It is something so important to me and to our family that if you check out my personal profile you'll see that I am attempting to write a book about it.
Friends, I don't know what we'd do with out them. They are here for us, and hopefully we return the favor and are there for them. I love all of our friends!!! Thanks for allowing God to introduce us!

Broken Hearts

How does it feel to have a broken heart? We’ve all suffered something in our lives that has affected us in that way. Did you know that God saves all of our tears in a bottle? (Psalms 56:8) I wonder what He does with them. He surely has an entire warehouse full of bottles from me alone. I often hear people say to me that they have suffered, particularly through the death of a loved one, but nothing like what we have suffered. As far as I am concerned, if you suffer, you suffer.
There are so may hurting people in this world, we truly have no idea who some or even most of them are. We may even be a friend to some of them, yet not even be aware of the fact that they are suffering. Who is the person that decides who is suffering the most? What type of measurement do they use? Who in the world said they are the one that knows? Who is the one that decides that they are the only one with the “wisdom” to decide if their problem is worse that someone else’s problem?
Right now my nephew Josh and his wife are in a hospital in the DC area, mourning the loss of their first child. Caleb was delivered this morning after Rose went through 68 hours of induced labor to deliver a still born child at five and a half months gestation. Rose hase a rare form of cancer called MPD (myeloproliferative disorder). Basically what that means is that she has a genetic mutation such that her bone marrow and stem cells produce too many, and perhaps abnormal, blood cells. Technically they group these disorders with blood cancers, but this is really more of a chronic condition rather than acute. Relative to how fast a lot of cancers move, this problem will get worse at a much slower pace. One of the varieties of these MPDs affects the white blood cells and is a chronic form of leukemia which can become full blown acute leukemia.)Do you think that they are suffering from a broken heart? I think we all are in one way or another! Please pray for them!
I heard last night at church that the measurement we need to use is how closely we become "like Christ".(Or something to that affect) We all seem to think that we need to find God’s will for our lives. That somehow what we go through in our life or how badly we have suffered will be the measure of how spiritual we are, Not true! I feel that it’s what we allow God to do in our hearts during the sufferings or problems we experience that shows us how we are “measuring up.” Let me explain: We all have problems, most differ from person to person but, at the moment we may feel that we have suffered far worse that anyone that we know.
When our daughter Liz was murdered in May of 2000, I heard so many people say that even with all of the problems they have had, nothing compared to what our family was going through. That may be true in some ways. They may not have lost a child through a horrible act of violence, but they have struggled through another situation that I may never have to encounter. Did they suffer? You bet they did! Did they feel crushed under the weight of it? At the moment they more than likely felt they would never survive. Have you ever felt that way?
I like to think that I am an "original" there is only one me. I know some of you are thinking "thank the Lord" but really, I am the only me there is sitting right here, right now, writing these words, thinking these thoughts. I hope some day that when people look at me they will see Jesus! Hopefully that day is soon! I may not be measuring up to Christ yet, but that is my goal! Yes, I do hurt, my heart is so full of things, hopes, goals, desires. It feels that when I move forward an inch or two, I get knocked over the edge, and my heart is laboring for the next heart beat. I guess I can say that I have an "irregular heart beat" I never know what to expect, so I never know just what my heart will do...
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by Becki
9:26:00 AM

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